Tanhaiyan | neirohi

26. go crazy

A glimpse at the violent blue and black strokes, one could never guess that it was the calm and collected, spectacled man who was the creator of the art. The canvas stretched on the wooden easel shined in glory. The painting had a little raven waiting for his mother to turn up with food. The eyes though insignificant in size, spoke volumes with the yearning they held.

The phone's screen lit with the message from last evening. His girlfriend since five years, aspiring actress Anisha Birla had promised to call him back today morning. Empty words or not, only time would tell. No problems, he would wait. His patience was the best thing about him.

Even in school, he would patiently wait for his turn in the canteen rather than breaking the queue like many. He would wait for every passenger in the plane to get down, before he set out himself. He would wait for good things to happen in his life rather than holding onto the bad ones.

He was the child who waited for his father to turn up. He was the one who waited for his dead mother to return. Also the one who waited for his baby sisters to sort of their problems.

In short, Kairav Goenka was habituated to waiting.

In front of all the things he had waited for in his life, this call seemed like nothing. And so, yes, he could wait for that as well. Just the way he waited for the dawn at the moment. Why wait for the sun rays, you might ask. Why?

Cause dawn never backed out from turning up. And as the golden hour hit his eyes, he smiled.

His wait was finally worth.

°

Sun rays did not wake her up. But her giggling phone surely did. Before it could wake up the sleeping man behind her, she opened the text and responded with the details of the meds asked. She had to be back at work soon. Deciding to stay still for a minute or two, she felt the feathery graze at the nape of her neck, teasing her with a light peck. How it could've been four years ago, had she stayed back and not ran away before the sun rose. She turned and faced him, an effort to stop themselves from going for another round. Drowsiness laced his voice as he asked.

"Hospital?"

"Yes."

Blinking his eyes open, he gave her a lazy smile. "Go save some lives chipkali-pretty-Birla," he added, dozing away instantly. Rolling her eyes, she still had a small smile on her face as she set out to get ready for the day's work.

Hours later, she leaned back against her moving chair. She could really do well with a massage now. With her body sore and neck stiff, it was difficult to work. Thankfully, she did not have much work today. A rather quiet Sunday. Not that she would say it out loud. Goes around that if someone says it then there would be a swarm of patients.

She was content with things the way they were. No need to jinx that.

Her over-priced hospital coffee rested on the table untouched. Going through her phone, her thumb hovered around the contact tagged chamgadar. Switching it off right away, she threw it on the table, eager to get away from it. No need to be so clingy. She was fine the way she was.

She may be his chipkali but no need to prove him right by being a chipku.

Her mind drifted over yesternight's events and also over the ones which felt like yesterday, even though it has been four years. The attraction was undeniable and the efforts to stop it were futile. Had she not escaped four years ago, who knew what could've happened. However, the events to not repeat ever again were a rarity, she knew that. And she was right. Few months together and they were back to where it started.

The only difference, she wouldn't run away this time.

The four years she had to herself in a new city was a struggle. But it was worth it. To focus on herself, her career, her life-it felt awfully good. She might not have been happy but she certainly was at peace. Winning over herself, that is what got her to where she was today. She did have some help, all of them unintentional. Helping people without knowing that you are helping them or claiming so, what could be better than that?

Which is why room 301 held a special place in her heart.

Redecorating the yellow roses in her cabin, she smiled. Amidst the tears which welled up, she smiled. Was she really having luck sweep her way this time? To be happy, is this what it was?

Her fingers traced over the glass surface on the table, under which a picture of the Goenka siblings was kept. The very one they took before leaving for Jaipur, for her sister's wedding. To the ones who wished for Aarohi Goenka to be the happiest, she whispered to them, "Thank you," and smiled, trying to press back the gnawing fear floating up again.

Seeing no patients in queue and only one surgery lined up, that too in the evening, she picked out the books from her bag. Getting back to her student mode, she got herself busy with highlighting the important points. With a lot of jotting down and adding sticky notes, she was finally done with section 2 of cardinal manifestations of neurologic disease. Curious, she peeked into section 3. The title, Disorders of the Special Senses, got her attention.

Her fingers naturally flipped over to chapter 11, Disorders of Smell and Taste. Eyes fleeting over the introduction, she stopped uncharacteristically on the word pheromones. Almost spitting her coffee out the very instant, she muttered under her breath as she read the lines over and over again.

Pheromones (pherein: to carry; hormon: exciting), that is, odorants exuded from the body, as well as perfumes, play a part in sexual attraction; noxious body odors may repel.

Her mind got clogged with the strong cedarwood scent which lurked around her no matter how much she tried to wash it off. The faint sniff of cardamom hidden in it got her squirming on her seat. She shut the Adam and Victor's with a bang, giving the book a stare of disgust. Not today, she couldn't read it today. Not without going crazy or worse, wanting for more.

Making way to the washroom, she splashed the water on her face, too distracted to even notice the icy water. Drying her face with the handkerchief, she gave the mirror a pointed stare. Eyes rolling at her own reflection, she mumbled to herself in trance.

"Aaru beta, tuh aaj ke liye Bailey's hee revise kar. That's the best for you."

And once again, she set out, determined to complete the lessons she had in mind today. Whether that would be a success or not depended on how many times she would not zone out, or how many times that chamgadar would not pop into her head.

One thing was certain for sure.

To go crazy and how.

-