I woke up to the heavy breathing of Ross. He doesn't snore but he breathes
heavy. I was happy I was still in his arms. I was in the same position when of how I went to sleep.
I just laid there just thinking about everything that happened last night. I still feel to embarrass to show my face to my friends. Sam has really hurt me & humiliated me. I really wish I never met him. I wish the person I'm laying in the arms of right now was the one for me. It's so sad how I wanted that so much at one point but then Sam came in and I gave up on him. But let's face it Ross and are the besets of friends and there's no way he can possible imagine us being anymore than friends because if he did laying in his arms right now wouldn't feel like what I'm thinking. Why did they tell the truth when they said it will always be the ones closest to you that will hurt you the most?
Maybe I'm going very off the deep in right now to think that about Ross? Maybe I've been awaken to see that I really can't trust anyone.....not even Ross? Maybe my enemy is me? Maybe it's not? Maybe I have really lost it? Who really knows but I need to get away from this.
My email notification went off and hopefully this can be the email to take me away. I take a look at Ross & he's completely knocked out. I looked down to see his arms shielding me & I gently and swiftly moved myself out of it. I grabbed my phone & decided to use the bathroom in the other room so I won't wake Ross.
As I didn't business I read the email from one of my colleges Marco from Texas. He invited me to come on the board for his business franchise & to blog on his website. This sounds like an amazing opportunity, I get to make money, reconnect with Marco & connect with new people in a business sense, I get to get out of town for a few weeks to clear my head. This can be the remedy that I need no this is the remedy that I need. I emailed him back that I'll be in Dallas 4 days from today.
Once I was done that and doing my business I did look through my phone to see 9 texts and 19 missed calls. Most of them came from Sam & everyone just to check on me. Now my mind is going back to my thoughts when I was laying in Ross's arms.
"Good morning" Ross says awaking me
from my thoughts. he comes over to the kitchen with me & sits next to me.
"Morning"
"Why were you staring into space?" He asked me & then yarned.
"I literally woke up to good news " I said
"I have some news too"
"Really you go first"
"No you go. Mine can wait"
"Well I got an email from my colleague Marco. He entrusts me so much that he wants me to be on his board for his company he's launching & he's offered me a exclusive blog opportunity for a spread for Betsy Johnson"
"Wow that's great news."
"It is, he wants me to come to Dallas for a few weeks to meet to talk about everything"
"Wow so are you going to do it?"
"Yeah. It's a good opportunity & a good distraction"
"Yeah I understand. So when do you leave ?"
"Three days from now"
"Wow"
"Yeah so what did want to tell me?"
"................umm I was going to ask you how would you feel about coming on tour with me. But it looks like Marco beat me to the punch "
"Tour....I couldn't do that."
"Why not?"
"I'd feel more like a burden on you. I couldn't "
"Burden....really? I think.....you know what never mind."
"No don't do that you think I what?"
"Nothing. Just forget about it. "
"I can't , & I won't your mad at me."
"I'm not mad y/n. Mad is not something I feel towards you"
"But you are upset"
"No just let it go"
"You do realize I told you that I can only trust you. How do I end up turning the one person I trust mad at
me.?"
"Right you trust me but yet you think you will be a burden to me........you just have no idea sometimes"
I was shun to silence because that last line didn't make sense.
"Your my best friend. To have you come on the tour, to have you just travel with me & share some of my best experiences would be awesome. you may not know it & I don't say it often but I miss you the most when I'm on tour, or when I'm filming. I just thought if you come you it would help you get your mind off things & we can spend some more time together"
I really didn't know what to say. So I just hugged him. I was calm in his embrace and I was happy because him saying that is some reassurance that Ross really is trustworthy as I thought before. For him to even ask that....he's never asked a girlfriend before something like that.
"I feel like you are all I have.....I just didn't want to get in the way & make you annoyed" I said in his embrace
"Just promise we can spend everyday together before you go"
"What about your rehearsals?"
"Oh yeah every day after rehearsals"
"Ok"
"Good"
I pulled away slowly to face him & when I do I found myself staring at his lips. I broke away to look at him and he was looking at mine. I leaned in a bit to tempt him. He leaned in a bit but then his eyes met mine. He then backed away. I backed away slowly. I guess it was that moment it's real, going to Dallas maybe the best decision I could have ever made. When I go I won't look back.
