Tomboy

#23. For me

Axel

So many things were going through my mind as I raced from my house. I was right next door and it was Milo who knew before I did?

I blew it. I always did. I only ever hurt her, never being there to wipe the tears afterward. And when I finally had the chance to help it really wasn't of my own accord. I made a promise.

In that moment I felt a sense of self pity, but I stopped brooding as I came to a stop in front of Lyric's house. He may be in there, no he was in there.

"Calm down." I told myself, trying to calm my breathing which was by far worse than frantic. My fingers were shaking as I twisted the knob and pushed, nothing happened. The door was locked, I couldn't get in from where I was.

I was so confused. I felt like I was lost in the middle of a city full of secrets where I had no idea which was true and which I was meant to know. Why would she be getting threats? Why would he send me threats? Why would he go after her? And what did Milo mean when he said, "I think he'll do it again?"

I racked my brain for answers but none came to me. I tried to push the door and that obviously didn't work. How the hell would I get in there?

The window.

I sprinted back to my house, panic rising within me as I barged in on the boys sitting in the living room floor playing UNO. I shook my head, their life was so simple. My life would've been simple if it weren't for Lyric and again I wondered whether she was worth it. Whether my life would be better without her in it.

"What's wrong?" Asked Cash, but I barely made out his words, not taking the time to register it and reply.

My heart was pumping fast and loud, dimming the noise of all others. My breathing became shallow, quickening as fear gripped my gut and pulled it within the reach of its vices, screaming all the what if's?

What if you were too late?
What if you never make it?
What if? What if? What if?

I clambered up the steps, racing to my room and pulling open the window only to see the curtains were drawn. I picked up a small pebble from my table that I had collected for this very reason, and threw it at the window. It went straight through, revealing an open window but it was too dark for me to see anything inside.

I climbed across, barely managing not to slip and fall as I pulled and jumped inside. The room was completely black except for the small patch of light coming from the window.

"Lyric!" I called as my eyes adjusted to the dark environment. No reply. "Lyric! Answer me!" But she never did and all I ever saw was a piece of fluttering paper held under the edge of a book.

I scrambled through the cupboard tearing everything out, felt under the bed, looked in the bathroom, ran around the whole damn house looking inside every nook and cranny I could find.

There was no one here. I sighed, feeling the night breeze brush through my hair. The calm whistle of the wind, the slow wush of swaying trees and the noise of the chittering crickets. It was a peaceful night and within me was a stricken heart. How cruel the world was.

I went back upstairs and walked over to the sheet of paper, slipped it out and read.

If I must say so myself, I am very proud knowing what a great person you are. You take such good care of your loved ones. Lyric Oakley... You might as well get comfortable,

the letter read and so I did,

So for years you put her down, for years you laughed at her. For years I watched you stand close and hurt someone we both loved but you know what the funny thing was? We never saw loving a girl as manly. We were such chickens, we never realised how how rare she was and how you were never to let such rare things go. She was like a concealed diamond in a pile of uncovered rocks. Any man who looked would see, we were both losers and we both lost her.