Tomboy

#9. Misused and Abused

A special thank you to Foreverafter21 and unshedtears__ for the comments (and votes) thank you to all other readers as well as voters!
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Warning! If you don't like gruesome... Then you should probably grue-some balls before reading this!
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Lyric

The deepest of a women's insecurities come from the men that have hurt them. We all have our breaking point when our heart will finally have enough of being constantly broken and mended and just shut off.

The corner of my head hurt, as I fought to open my eyes. My chest hurt as I lifted it from the position it had currently been in, slowly sitting up straight.

"Ah, you're awake." Said a deep voice, sounding slightly familiar.
"Wh-whose there?" I questioned as my eyes adjusted to the dim lighting. I was blind-folded. I could see the thin line of light penetrating through the bottom of the cloth.
"You don't know who I am?" He asked again, surprise evident in his tone. My heart picked up pace, hammering into my ribs.
"Am I supposed to?" I asked, cocking my head and trying my best to sound confident. At least he could't see my eyes. Eyes gave away so much of one's emotion that it was hard to hide. Hard to act stronger than you really were.

A chill ran up the length of my spine making me shudder, this person gave me the wrong vibe. A familiar vibe.
Where was I? I sighed heavily, rubbing my face and letting my hands drop onto my lap, feeling it come into contact with more skin. It was kind of cold wasn't it? I thought running my hands on my thighs.

"Are you cold?" He asked, and I could hear the smile in his voice. The creepiness of it all. I could imagine the whites of his teeth in the shadows, making him all the more intimidating. Like the scary monsters you pictured as a child, always hiding in the shadows.

I was self conscious of the way he was quiet, the way I could picture his eyes as it lingered on my chest which I on instinct, covered.

"Who are you?" I asked, pushing confidence into my voice, not allowing myself to break for people like this. Even though I was dying on the inside, even though I was crying for him to let me go, it was the reaction he sought after to show him how powerful he was. To show him how in control of me he was.

But if it showed him that, then it showed me how weak he really was. He was a man who sought strength in the weakness of women. He was an unloved man who had nothing in life to lose. He was a man who suffered to the brim

"Im the ever so hot Blake Gordon."
Blake Gordon? I thought. Blake, Blake,Blake. Nup.

"Sorry doesn't ring any bells." I shrugged, still trying to look in the direction of his voice.

"You're pretty to look at, Lyric." He winked. Ewweee! Yuck! I said, covering my thighs-my bare thighs- to shield myself from his piercing gaze.
My thighs were bare. My arms were bare. My stomach was bare. My chest. Was bare. I was in fact, naked.

Shock registered through my body as I jumped in horror. "Where's my clothes?!" I shrieked. "W-where did you take my FÜCKING clothes!" I swore. A lump forming in my throat as I frantically felt around for them.

I could hear him chuckle as I struggled to cover myself. I was finally noticing the abnormal situation I was in. How could I have been so calm while I was in a room with a boy I didn't even know. Naked?!

"Oh calm down, Ric. I know you want it."
"Don't you dare call me Ric!" I shouted, scooting back as I felt his presence near.
"Stop playing hard to get." He purred.
"This is not me playing hard to get. This is me believing in myself. This is my me, my mind." I told him, pointing to my head, as if he were stupid.
"Stop fücking with it."
He smiled.
"This is my body." I said, pointing to my chest, "Stop looking at it."
His smile only grew wider as he stared.
"And this is my choice." I finally said, covering my privates. "Not yours, so piss the fück off and get someone else willing to be your personal dildo!"

Did I really just say that? Oh gosh.

"But you were just so beautiful, I had to have you." He said. He thought it was a compliment. It wasn't. It made my insides crawl as I shook my head frantically.
"Please. Stop. Don't."
"God made you." He said, caressing my cheek as he said so making me flinch and scurry further back, "Especially for me."
"N-no. I'll report you. I-I'll... REPORT YOU! Don't touch me! Stop! No! I swear!" I said, again and again, but he didn't listen as he pushed my down on whatever I was on, flattening me on.
"This will be our little secret. Don't you trust me?" He whispered near my ear. I just shook my head, my voice lost in my throat.
"I swear I'll report!" I whimpered as he caressed me further, making me cringe with every inch.
"No one will believe you anyways." He said, the smile audible in his voice as I felt his body weight on top of me.
"No!" I screamed, wriggling and kicking my legs as hard as I could. This couldn't be my first time.
"We both know you don't really mean it when you say no. It would be over faster if you stop struggling. We both know this is all you're good for."
"Stop! I'm not g-good!" I cried out in between sobs. "I'm a virgin!"
"There's no way you are a virgin, you've done this before." He told me I felt my hands being taped down, unmoving and out of reach over my head as I tried my best to tug them out of place.
"Why are you doing this?" I pleaded.
"Because I don't wrap it and tap it darling. I tape it rape it." He said, pecking me on the cheek. I jumped, no! No way! I couldn't. He couldn't. I wasn't brought up this way. What would everybody think of me? What would I think of me?

"Fück off!... Please!" I added when I felt the heat radiating of his body.
"Gimme my clothes! Let me leave!"
But my mouth was covered and my screams were useless. The pain excruciating as I tried to block him out. Everything out, until I gradually lost consciousness.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have and you don't realise that our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter, until its too late.

Twenty minutes in, I was conscious again, and the words "Go back to sleep." were the first I heard before everything registered and became real all of a sudden. Again. And in that moment I wished he would be over and done with it. I wished that I wasn't who I was. I wished I wasn't breathing, living, laughing. I wished I never existed.

Because us girls, we not supposed to wear make up, or wear our hair long. We're not supposed to wear short skirts or high heels, tight fitting clothes or look sexy. We're not supposed to bat our eyelashes or crack dirty jokes, flirt or smile at strangers. We're not supposed to offer help to strangers or go out at night, go to parties or go on dates. We're not supposed to go anywhere alone, or attract attention, work late or trust anyone. We're not supposed to say yes or say no. We're not supposed to be women, we're not supposed to exist.

Al because society teaches 'don't get raped' instead of 'don't rape.'

"Please." I breathed, "Stop, it hurts."
"It's supposed to hurt." He said. "Be quiet and stop crying. I cant enjoy it."

I couldn't see who it was. I couldn't hit who it was. I couldn't stop who it was. I couldn't report who it was. Because this person had won.

"I can't wait to see you everyday." He then whispered as I felt him lifting himself up.

And this is how it feels now;

Blackness.
Numbness.
Nothing.

Age is a matter of feeling, not years they said.

Well rape is a matter of my consent, not yours.
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A/N:
So it's not as bad as I made it sound but my writing skills are still on level awesomeness. Hasn't escalated to perfection yet :)

Thoughts on who you think it might be?

Random?

Or

Someone she knows?

Love,
worldofwrite❤️