Part 9: Admittance

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I walked to my room and set my alarm for 11:00pm. I shower and fall asleep instantly. I wake up to the sound of my alarm. I grunt in disapproval. I slam my fist into the alarm clock and roll out of bed.

My clothes are scattered across the dresser. Everything in Dauntless is black! I pull on some clothes and head to the Training Room. I take my time, stopping at the water fountain to get some water.

The Training Room is dimly lit and I see a figure lurking near the targets. He sees me and strides towards me. I don't cry, I can't cry. He gathers me in his arms and kisses the top of my head. I smile and pull away. He grabs my wrists.

"Now, Six, what's going on?" He asks me.

I close my eyes, "Well, I was dating Four. But, you know, guys will be guys. He cheated, twice. I loved him and I still do!" My breathing hitched as a sob was caught in my throat. He put his arms around me. I didn't pull away from his embrace.

"I can't trust him and I love him! I gave up so much for him!" I sobbed, no tears came out. He kissed my forehead.

"Earlier, he was telling me why I wasn't good enough for him! Of all the nerve! I mean, it's true, I don't deserve him. He's strong, handsome, and smart. I'm just me. A short girl who can't do the things he wants to do because of a freakin' fear. I don't deserve him!" I cry out even louder at the realization. He kissed my cheek. I felt a thick blush settle on my cheeks.

Is this the same Alex who's afraid to kiss someone? He seems so different. I looked up at him and saw something I didn't expect. I saw the familiar green eyes of Jaden.

I pulled away immediately. A feeling of disgust washed over me and I felt dirty.

"What the hell was that!?" I demanded.

He shook his head, ''I wanted to talk to you. Alex isn't here yet. I wanted to know. Please don't be mad." He pleads.

I shook my head, my lips in a firm line, "Get out now. I don't want you to tell anyone about any of this. Swear to God. If you do, so help me, I'll get you kicked out of Dauntless!" I warned him. He nodded and walked out. I followed him, fuming. I walk into the dorms and Alex is asleep. I look at the clock, "11:34" I nod to myself. His alarm hasn't gone off yet.

I walk swiftly back to the Training Room to wait. I lay down in the middle of the room. I drift off to sleep only to be awaken by Alex.

I smile and he returns a cheek-stretching grin. I chuckle. I look at him, his skin has lightened, he has thick, brown eyebrows and eyelashes that touched the skin under his eyes. His bright blue eyes question me.

"So, Six, what seems to be our problem?" I tell him the story and keep a straight face. He comforts me while holding my trembling body close to him and kissing my head.

"Alex, can I ask you something?" I ask through the tears. He nods.

I sigh, "Do you...like me? Or was the shooting thing just your fear of shooting?"

His eyes go wide, "I do like you, Six. I like you a lot. The shooting thing was both, you are pretty and I like your spunk. I couldn't kill anyone if I had too." He says quivering. My eyebrows raise. I had judged him on day one and I was wrong. I turned slightly so my face was close to his. He was so nice and he was so handsome. I lean in slowly, watching his face.

I kiss him, not the passionate kisses the Tobias and I shared, but something softer and less urgent. He kissed me back and I tangled my fingers in his hair. We both pull away for air, too soon.

"Alex, you can't tell a soul until after Initiation. They will think your rank was because of us. Don't get upset when I yell or anything... I have to act normal."

He nods, "Six, what's your real name?''

I smile, "Once a Candor always a Candor. Tris...Prior." I say as I stand and brush the dirt off my pants. I help him to his feet and leave.

I walk back to my Apartment.

The bed is a mess, but I don't make it, I just jump on and fall asleep. I wake up to my alarm. My stomach gurgles and I realize I didn't eat dinner yesterday. I walk to the cafeteria and see all the Initiates. I grab a tray of food and sit next to Jess.

She turns to me, "Hey, Six! What are we doing today? I hope it's not another simulation. Those things are sick." She says.

"We won't be going through yours. You'll be going through mine. One fear per person." Everyone at the table stops talking.

Alex speaks up, "Your fears? How many do you have?" Candor...

"I have 7." They all nod and continue eating. I eat my food silently. The clock says 8:20am, Four should be here already. When everyone's done, we walk up to the Simulation Room together. Four's still not here.

"Everyone take a seat. I'll be back soon." I tell them. I run down the stairs and to his room. The door is locked, so I grab the key under the mat and let myself in. I've seen this too many times before. Konnor and Four. I feel nothing. I am empty.

"Four! Get up! Training started 20 minutes ago!" They spring apart and Four's face flushes. He doesn't move.

"Four, get the hell up. Now." I say.

I turn to leave, "Oh, and I knew you wanted her. This just proves me right." I slam the door closed between us and run up to my Initiates. Dylan is trying to braid Jess's hair, Bekkah and Anna are telling each other jokes, and then there's Jaden, Alex, and Cleo. She's watching the boys brawl. Alex has got Jaden in a headlock. I can see the fear plastered on his face. I grab his arms and release Jaden. Alex's muscles are tight and rigid.

"Alex, it's okay. It's alright, you're okay." I say calmly. He nods. "Today, we are going through my fears. Only you and I know what fear you have. Bekkah will go first." I tell them as I grab Bekkah's arm.

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