Candor or Dauntless: Truth or Dare (Watty Awards 2013)

Part 40: Soft Voice, Ugly Secrets

We walk silently to the roof.
"What's going on with you and Dylan?" I blurt out. Her body goes rigid as I say his name.

"He tried to...and I didn't want to...I just...couldn't, you know? We’re not even an official thing, it's a secret and all the Initiates share a room. I just couldn't. My parents weren't very touchy or lovey-dovey. I was raised to stay distant, Dylan however, was not. And now that I rejected him, it's just...awkward for me. I think that's all he wanted all along. Now that he can't have me, he's done with me. He doesn't even look at me." She shivers in the slight breeze.
I sigh, "Everyone makes mistakes, Jess. During the whole Cleo-Psych-Attack, he was staring at you. His eyes never left you. I think," I say, "I think he really does love you, but he has no sense of patience. Talk to him. Everything will be fine if you just talk to him. He'll help clear things up. I went through the same thing, when I was dating Four. It was in my Fear Landscape. We talked and I wasn't mad or afraid anymore. He loved me enough to be patient." I lie. Thank God she's not Candor. Tobias did cheat on me. But, I'm not about to tell her that. She smiles, her eyes soft and friendly. She leans over and hugs me softly.
"Thanks Six." She says while releasing me. I smile and stand up. She towers over me, she could be described as shapeless, but also willowy. "Tris?" She asks softly. Her voice must just naturally be soft and relaxed. Maybe it's a side effect of Amity Bread. I nod.

"How do you know when you're in love?" She says, again softly. I look past her and down onto the concrete. It occurs to me, that I don't know how to tell when you're in love or not. With Tobias, I just knew. I can't tell her that I don't know.
"You don't. You wait until he's ready, when he says it, if you feel the same way, you say it back. If not, well..." I trail off.
One tear falls down her face, "I think...I think I do love him. But, he doesn't love me. He was using me." She says, while rubbing her thin arms.
"Although I'm sure he does love you, I'll talk to him. Okay? I'll pretend I never spoke with you." She smiles and wraps her arms around my shoulders, squeezing me tightly.
“Thanks again, Six.” She releases me and I nod to her.

“You go first. I’ll be there soon.” She nods and walks up, taking two steps at a time. I walk onto the ledge and stare down. If I fall, I’ll die. But I don’t think I will fall. The wind ruffles my hair and I still don’t have an answer. I sigh and turn around. I walk the stairs, one step at a time. I jog to the Dorms for Jaden. He was talking to Dylan earlier. I grab Jaden’s arm and hurry out, to my room.