My First FSY

Chapter 10

Crazy with jealousy, I began to take small steps to the rhythm of the music until Isaac could see me dance with his friend. So, risking expulsion from the FSY and probably from every Mormon church in the country, I approached Jacob, who was tense again. I ran my hands around his neck and started to touch his blond hair.

─What are you doing?─ he asked, nervous.

─Follow me, please─ I whispered, leaning close to his ear. Then I laughed out loud and he followed me, although his laugh could have passed for a tremor.

I furtively glanced back at Isaac who was looking at me in surprise. Got it! Now I would go ahead with my idea of getting his attention through incessant flirting with Jacob. Didn't he think I was a man-eating slut? Well, I was going to show them what a bitch I could be.

I glanced at my dance partner, who looked flushed, as he looked left and right, avoiding my gaze. I was intrigued by that modesty. Any boy in his right mind would have taken advantage. Why didn't they? What was stronger than their instinct for them to control themselves?

─You don't look very comfortable─ I said, getting too close to his ear.

─You think?─ he just smiled and shrugged.

─Come with me, let's sit for a while─ I said as the song ended. I took his hand again and we sat on some chairs that had been arranged around the dance floor.

─Thanks for asking me to dance. It's been funny─ I told him as I bumped my shoulder against his trying to show exaggerated complicity that came out of nowhere.

─You're welcome, it's been a pleasure─ he murmured.

I laughed exaggeratedly and ran my hand up to his leg. He was about to go into cardiac arrest. Maybe I was out of line, even though I had nothing to lose. If the worst punishment he could suffer was to be kicked out... go for it! I was looking forward to it.

Again, my eyes returned to Isaac who was looking at me perplexed, and this time, Rut was also looking at me. Her eyes were narrowed as if trying to figure out what my next move was. Yes, we bitches understood each other.

I smiled triumphantly. Isaac seemed affected and Rut dislocated. We might not fix things between us, but at the very least, it would show him that my world didn't revolve around him... Then I realized why I was making all that paraphernalia and sighed. Who was I kidding? Every move, every thought, every action, even that free show I had just given was for him. Everything centered on him, on what he would think, on whether he would care or if he would be jealous. I felt pathetic.

I looked at Jacob, who was moving his leg rapidly. He seemed restless. He smiled with a frown.

─Can I ask what game you're playing?─ he murmured in surprise. I couldn't answer him. Telling him that I took advantage of our dance to make Isaac jealous was not an option.

─I'm sorry─ I mumbled.

I couldn't go through with that stupid plan. Something in me had changed since the day I arrived, and the suspicious and malicious girl that I had always been was not present on this occasion. I felt guilty and that was not like me. I cursed the FSY and all the young people there.

─Don't be sorry. Seriously, it hasn't bothered me... but I've noticed David and Paco's intense gazes on my neck. For a moment I thought they would send me to my room cut into little pieces- he laughed nervously.

─In any case, they would punish me. I'm not earning sympathy from people around here─ I lowered my eyes.

─You have mine─ he smiled. His words made me feel even worse for having used him.