Ace of Clubs

It's Here

It's been two weeks since they last saw each other. Two weeks since they had a proper conversation both in person and text without all the tension and the awkwardness. On Tuesdays and Fridays, Risa would receive Leni's usual question. It's either "pupunta ba ako?" or "pupunta ka ba?"

Her reply would always be, "Sorry, I can't. I'm busy." If pushing Leni to her limits was a sport, Risa would be a pro player.

She groaned loudly in annoyance when she received Leni's usual one word reply. "Okay." She had so many questions on her mind. Was it really that easy to turn her down? Did Leni not want to see her again? But also, this is for our own good, right?

It's such an exasperating cycle and Risa can't really blame anyone but herself for it.

One of her children came in her office, immediately sensing her bad mood. "Ma, hello! Are you okay? Do you have time to spare?" Issa peaked inside. She urged her to come in and sit.

"Uy, 'nak, hello! Yeah, okay lang. What are you doing here?"

"I just need you to sign something tapos I'll be on my way na."

Risa took the papers that Issa handed and read them carefully. She felt her daughter's eyes observe her every move so she asked, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You don't look okay. Lalo na these past 2 weeks. Did something happen?"

"Wala naman, paano mo nasabi na I don't look okay?"

"You look very frustrated most of the time. Tapos nilulunod mo 'yung sarili mo with work. I don't know if this has something to do with it ha, pero Tita Leni's not going sa bahay as often as before na. Nag-away ba kayo?"

"No..." That was true...somehow. They didn't fight. There wasn't any argument from any party at all. But it sure felt like they did.

"Ah, so she's busy lang?"

Risa nodded her head, still unable to form enough words to explain to her eldest daughter what was going on in her life without giving away very important details. "She's the VP. Marami siyang kailangan gawin."

"I have to admit, Ma. It's a little weird not seeing Tita Leni at home often. No'ng nakaraan parang nandoon siya araw-araw. Nasanay na ata ako sa presence niya."

Hindi lang ikaw, Risa thought. Pati ako nasanay na.

"Busy kami parehas kaya she doesn't go here as often na."

"So what's the problem?"

"Wala," Risa shrugged. She wanted this conversation over as quickly as possible because she's not ready to get slapped with the truth just yet. "I'm fine."

"Right. Then siguro dapat," Issa hummed wistfully. "Magpahinga ka. Take a break from work kahit for a night lang, go out and have fun."

"With you?"

"Not with me! Go out with your friends or something. Or much better..."

"Ano?"

"Go on a date. Maybe that will help."

Risa's eyes widened and she slapped her daughter's arm lightly. "Issa!"

"What? I'm just saying. Malay mo diba, ayun lang pala kailangan mo para less tense and less stressed ka."

Risa was flabbergasted. She didn't even think, for one second, of going on a date with someone else. Her marriage to Leni may not have been decided properly, but that didn't mean she would freely go on dates, nor entertain anyone who wanted to go out with her.

They haven't even talked about that yet. She thought about Leni's reaction if ever she brought it up. Would she be mad? Would she tell me not to do it? Or maybe, she wouldn't inquire further and not put up a fight like her recent replies.

Risa didn't know which one was worse.

-------------------

If Leni wasn't the level-headed person that she is, she probably would have thrown her phone on the wall every time she would receive a chilly reply from Risa.

She felt regret in her chest. Not because of what happened in Hong Kong, but because of her fear to take the risk and just say what she's feeling. She felt desolate at how a once lighthearted, happy relationship (because she's fully aware it's not a friendship) turned into this — frigid, distant, and too reserved.

At the same time, she's angry because they can fix whatever problem they had by talking about it. But here was Risa, refusing to meet her or talk to her properly, even when she reminded her countless of times before.

But more than sorrow and anger, she was hurt. Questions flooded her mind and she didn't know if she wanted them answered. Maybe the answers would hurt far worse than the questions, maybe they won't. Like Risa, Leni didn't know which would be worse.

Her thumbs hovered above her keypad, her message thread with Risa open. Gusto kitang kausap. Ang dami kong gustong itanong at sabihin sa'yo.

"Pwede ba tayong mag-usap?" She typed but she didn't send it. What would be the point anyways?

She left her phone on her table and went out of her office to check in with her staff. A few minutes later, one of her staff members called her attention. "Ma'am, may tumatawag po sa inyo."

Admittedly, her heart skip a beat. Maybe it was her. Maybe Risa finally decided that it was time to talk about what was going on.

It wasn't.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Uy, Lens. Kumusta?" A familiar voice greeted her. Leni did feel her heart skip a beat, but not in the way she expected because as it skipped, it also dropped down the drain.

"Hi, Attorney. Okay naman ako. Ano pong atin?"

-------------------

Risa was finally home, chopping vegetables that she intended to cook for dinner. She sang along to the song on the radio, remembering how she and Leni often did that when cooking together. Everything that she did in her own home screamed Leni now.

Watching the TV, she did that with Leni. The couch, Leni. The dining room, Leni. Literally everywhere she looked had the older woman written all over it.

Unable to take it any longer, Risa wiped her palms on a towel and went to get her phone from the living room. She unlocked it, paying no mind to the other notifications, and went straight ahead to hers and Leni's message thread. I miss you, she was about to type.

Before she could begin typing, her legs weakened, her fingers trembled, and it was as if her heart stopped beating. Leni messaged her.

And it wasn't the type of text anyone in her position would want to receive.

"The divorce papers are here."