One More I Love You

2 // More Bad Than Good

After the not so dream I'm officially beyond freaked. Not only because I woke up in a pool of blood after dreaming about killing someone I love, which would understandably freak anyone out. It's because I have no recollection of what happened whatsoever, I don't even remember going to sleep. I'm missing huge chunks of time and every time it happens I lose more and more. Once the initial panic and adrenaline wore off I was able to tell that it was animal blood but I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if I had attacked someone. Just because I don't remember killing them wouldn't make it any less my fault.

I quickly made my way out of the room to too the bathroom to clean up. I stripped out of the bloody clothes and sat in the tub allowing the water to fall from the shower head down onto me. I don't know how long I've been sitting here, but it was long enough for the water going down the drain to return to clear instead of the blood-stained red, but there were still blood stains along the wall and the sink, pretty much everywhere I touch. Looks like a murder scene in here.

A shout of panic lets me know Isaac had finally woken up. I'm guessing waking up to a puddle of blood where your girlfriend is supposed to be is about as good of a sight as what I woke up to. I can hear his heavy footsteps running around the house as he searches for me, calling out my name. I can hear the terror in his voice that something could've happened to me. Didn't cross his mind for even a second that I was the cause. Eventually, he did end up at the bathroom juggling the handle vigorously.

"Rowan! Are you in there? Hello?" He called out to me, but I couldn't bring myself to answer. I couldn't even find my voice. I was afraid of him seeing me this way. I didn't want him to be afraid of me, reject me. More importantly, I didn't want to hurt him. "Baby please open the door. Open the door, Rowan!" I couldn't move. I could barely breathe. I just wanted to be left alone, but Isaac just couldn't let that happen. He broke the door sending it flying into the wall more than likely leaving a dent if not a hole in the wall.

He took a quick scan of the horror scene that was the bathroom before his eyes finally settled on me. His eyes soften as soon as they meet mine. I wonder if I look as broken as I feel right about now. Isaac wastes no time wrapping a towel around me and helping me out of the tub, but not before checking me for injuries. This whole thing has felt like an out of body experience. I've been looking down on myself watching this all unfold from the third person.

I'm not sure what came over me but when Isaac's arms wrapped around me, it felt like my soul was sucked back into my body. With that and the wave of emotions crashing down on my head, I feel my knees buckle causing me to fall into him. I could no longer hold in my cries and I let it all out. My fears, my anger, everything I've ever felt in this past month in one body shaking sob. Isaac carefully brought us both down to the ground and held me, whispering comforting words into my ear as I cried, and cried. At the moment it felt like I was never gonna stop. But I will, and the world will continue to turn, then we'll move on to the next crisis cause God knows there will always be a next crisis in Beacon. At this moment I just needed to feel, anything and everything all at once.
-
"Rowan!" Stiles snaps me out of my haze, making sure my mind wasn't wondering again (because we all know how well that usually ends). Scott Stiles and I were hanging out in our History class before it started, even before Mr. Yukimura showed up. They were telling me about their adventure in the woods last night where they saw a coyote with glowing eyes who they think is Malia, and they found a den that they believed belonged to her.

"Yeah, I'm here." I assured him bringing my attention back to his tablet.

"Here's where we found the den. It's right in the middle of the hiking trails." He continues. On the tablet was a map of the forest we've navigated so many times we should know it like the back of our hands by now. The hiking trails were vaguely drawn out and a pin, pointing out the den, sat right in the middle.