The Unexpected

27 || Thoughts

I gasp for air, jolting upright as I'm woken from sleep. Actually, I don't know if you could call it sleep when it was nothing but nightmares. The images in my brain weren't new ones, but ones that I've created in my moments of consciousness. I don't know how much longer I can hide this. Fear and paranoia are consuming me; my anxiety is growing at an alarming pace.

Looking over at the boy who's asleep next to me, I get hit with a feeling that's crippling. Trying not to wake Michael, I slip out of bed and into his kitchen to make some coffee.

_______________

"Hey love, you good?" Michael asks as he rubs the sleep from his eyes. He walks over to me, placing his hands on my waist, and leaves a kiss on the back of my head.

I'm leaning against the kitchen counter drinking what must be my fifth cup of coffee. I've been awake for almost three hours now, not able to fall asleep after waking at around four this morning. Michael being up at 7:30 is odd, but I leave it alone, too distracted by my own thoughts.

"Yeah. Couldn't sleep," I reply.

"You maybe wanna do something today? Or we could just watch Netflix?" He offers while he pours himself some coffee.

"Actually, I think I'm going to do some house hunting."

He thinks for a moment then says, "alright. We can meet with a-"

"Oh, no, Mikey, I was just going to head home then meet up with Charlotte. I promised her she could help me. But thank you," I interrupt.

"I see... well okay. But, Skye, this is home, too. You can always call my place home. You know that, right?" He says in a tone I can't quite decipher. I look up at him and see a face filled with confusion. It's not fair to him; he doesn't know why I'm pushing him away.

"I know," I respond. "Thank you."

I wrap my arms around his waist, burying my face in his chest. His warmth comforts me as he hugs me back, resting his chin on top of my head. We let go of each other and talk a bit as we finish our drinks. Once my cup is empty, I grab my things and head out, declining Michael's offer to drive me.

_______________

"Skye, you have to tell him. You can't just not say something!" Charlotte says exasperatedly.

"Charlie, I can't. I just can't."

"He's going to need to know eventually. This isn't something that just goes away. You need to talk to him about it."

"Give me some time. I just need a little more time," I plead as if it's her decision whether I tell Michael or not.

"S, this is practically eating you alive. The stress is visible in your face. Please do something about this soon," Charlotte replies.

"Soon. I promise."

We quickly change the subject as we keep looking for a new place for me to stay at. There's tons of apartments near Ashton's building, and it looks like I can afford some of them. We continue to make a list of the places to visit with a realtor.

As Charlotte is focused on the task at hand, I can't help but think about what she's just said. She's right about me needing to talk to Michael about this, but I just don't know how to tell him. I feel like I'm being a baby over this. He'll be annoyed with me; I know it. I've been trying to push this to the back of my mind for the longest time, but it's coming.

My thoughts are draining me off all motivation and energy. I would leave Charlotte to take a nap, but she's already worried as it is. I'm just going to have to pretend like I'm not exhausted after waking up so early this morning.