let me go || l.h.

e i g h t e e n

luke pulled himself off me, and i shivered, suddenly feeling cold. i saw him lay down on his pillow, hands covering his face. "wow," he whispered, looking at me in bewilderment. i felt myself blush. "what?" i asked innocently. luke just shook his head, planting a quick kiss on my forehead.

i made my way over to the t.v., taking the disc out and putting it back in its cover. my eyes flicked through his dvd collection once more, and fell on titanic. i pulled it out of its spot in the row and held it up for luke's inspection. "how about this?" i asked. luke shrugged, "i've never seen it." "neither have i," i said, making my way over to the machine.

luke sat back and draped his arms over the bed head. i made my way over to him, laying my head in his lap. his fingers absentmindedly raked through my hair, which had now fallen out of its bun and into a pony tail.

as we lay there and watched the movie, i finally felt my heartbeat relax. i had never kissed a boy like that before. i felt my cheeks begin to turn red as i thought about luke's lips on mine. "can you pass me my drink?" i whispered up to him, trying to take my mind off of it. "sure," he said, smiling. i took the lid off the bottle and took a few sips. lying down and drinking isn't a very smart move. i started to choke and began coughing like a maniac. i felt tears run down my face as luke hit my back, attempting to revive me. i started laughing as suddenly as i began choking, lying back down in luke's lap in a fit of laughter. he shook his head at me and continued watching the movie.

when the movie finished, luke pulled out a notebook. "this is my song book," he said, flipping through the pages. he stopped on the most recent page, which was entitled 'if you don't know.' all luke had written was the first verse. "is this the song you guys were talking about yesterday?" i asked, reading through the lyrics. luke nodded, and then sighed. "i can't figure out where to go from here," he said sadly. "well, maybe i could help?" i said. "sing this verse for me." luke smiled at me, and took a deep breath.

"tonight we're fading fast. i just wanna make this last. if i could say the things that i want to say, i'd find a way to make you stay. i'd never let you get away. catch you in all the games we've played."

every time i heard him sing, it sent shivers down my spine. i nodded at the lyrics. "it's a good start," i said. "where do you want the song to go from here?" i asked him. again, luke sighed. "i don't really know." he said, "i guess i kind of want it to be a song about a boy who loves a girl, but all she does is break his heart. over and over. she doesn't know how to love. at least now in the way he wants her to."

i nodded and took the pen from his fingers. "okay," i said, "how about this for a pre-chorus?" i began to write.

"so go ahead, rip my heart out. show me what love's all about. go ahead, rip my heart out. that's what loves all about."

luke read over the lyrics and smiled. "that's perfect!" he took the pen from me and began to write the chorus.

"i want you to want me this way. and i need you to need me to stay. if you say that you don't feel a thing- if you don't know, let me go, let me go, let me go, let me go. if you don't know, then just let me go."

he smiled at his work proudly. i was getting so excited. "that's perfect, luke!" i cried, "it's great, it's really, really great." i wrapped my arms around him and gave him a squeeze. he kissed my nose, "well, you helped me! c'mon, let's keep writing!"

fault\"y