Take This Spike to My Heart (Gerard Way x Reader)

(Chapter 2) Paranoia

~Gerard's POV~ 

Unsettled, I arose from my side of the bed. Y/n and I still slept, even though it was completely unnecessary. I think it was maybe the comfort of cuddling and one another's presence that made the regular mortal ritual so appealing. Yet I hadn't been able to so soundly fall into slumber, I would lie awake until late. Good thing it wasn't essential to my well being to have adequate sleep.  

Recently, I had been waking up early in the morning, perturbed beyond belief. It may sound childish, but I couldn't help but shake the ominous feeling of being watched. I would partake in the humorous act of looking in the closet, under the bed, or behind the curtains; Of course not missing checking outside the windows as well. Yet with every inspection, I turned up with nothing, nothing at all. The feeling kept persisting, and there was nothing I could do to halt its encompassing darkness. 

I started to feel terrible, seeing as this feeling was taking up more and more of my thoughts and actions. I was just hoping that I would shake it day after day but to no avail. 

That particular morning, I had awoken closer to a reasonable time for a sensible person to wake up, so I decided why not. The sun was just beginning to peak over the treelines, so why not go ahead and get the coffee started? Creeping out of the bedroom ever so quietly as to not wake the sleeping Y/n, I slipped into the dim hallway, following it to the open kitchen and living room space. 

I flicked the kitchen lights on, proceeding to do what I intended. After doing so, I sauntered to the couch flicking on the news. That was another acquired habit that came with the aforementioned tendencies. I suppose I was paranoid, but there was no waste in checking. After the morning's worth of stories and reports rolled, I was put slightly at ease; Slightly.

~Y/n's POV~

The jumbled noise of the TV from the other room woke me eventually. I ran my hand over where I had thought Gerard would be, only to find myself alone. I would have thought that he would have finally come back to bed after insisting on getting up to watch the morning news. I groaned lightly, squeezing my eyelids back together in frustration. That was one of his recent quirks that began to worry me. 

After the first month of living together happily, the already fairly reclusive vampire had begun to be distant. All the affection had died down slightly and he generally seemed in his own head rather than in the moment. Whenever I would ask him what was the matter, he would shake his head dismissively and say it was nothing to be worried about. To his dismay, such a response would have the opposite effect. This would only make me worry even more about his strange behavior. 

I had raked my mind over and over about anything I had possibly said or done to upset him, but I came up stumped. There hadn't been any apparent scuffles between the two of us, so what could I have done? 

That morning marked around a week or so of that response from him and I had tried everything to get him back to himself. I catered to his needs, I gave him some alone time, I tried straight up asking what the problem was, and there was nothing breaking this set-in-stone outward expression of the unbeknownst inner turmoil that had enveloped him. I was starting to get a bit miffed, to say the least. 

I stumbled out of bed, rubbing my eyes as I headed to change and then to the couch. Gerard was already there, the glare of the TV causing me to avert my eyes at the sudden brightness as I approached. "Morning Dear," I greeted trying to act like nothing was wrong as I sat next to him. 

"Morning," He muffled, looking over with an inattentive glaze. His eyes resembled the pitch-black windows of a vacant house, signaling nobody was home. His head turned to look down at his coffee cup, he bit his bottom lip as he lifted it slightly to see that the majority had been drunk. "I'll be right bac-" He started before I cut him off. 

"Oh no you don't," I said as I grabbed onto his left wrist. "Gerard we need to talk," I stated stiffly as I pulled him back down to the couch. "What has been up with you recently? And I want a damn answer rather than saying I shouldn't be worried about it." 

"I don't know, Y/n!" He exclaimed, most likely hoping I'd drop the conversation, but no. I wanted an explanation and I sure as hell was gonna get it.

"Oh, bullshit! You're worrying me, Gee. Please just fucking tell me if I did something instead of this cold-shoulder bullshit charade!" I shouted, standing up to make my point. 

"Would you calm down already? It's not that big of a deal, you're making a mountain out of a molehill," he huffed, standing up also. 

"Not a big deal? Why have you been ignoring me and being so distant then? That sure as hell doesn't sound like nothing, Gerard! If this is going to work, I need communication and actually putting effort into this weird relationship we have," I put my hands on my hips, beginning to move away from the couch. 

"Y/n wait a fucking minute! This is so out of hand," he said in an almost self-scold. 

"Y'know what? You take some time to get yourself together and figure out how to tell me what's wrong. I'm going for a walk..." I said as I opened and slammed the door, exiting the house with a slight scoff. Did I go overboard? 

~Gerard's POV~

Goddamn it, Gerard. I ran a hand through my hair, sitting back down. Why did I have to be such an idiot? My whole intention was to not let my own paranoia bother her, but I failed at that big time. Now she was pissed at me and thinks that I'm upset with her for some reason. I wanted so badly to run after her to tell her that no she wasn't the problem, it was me.  I had finally placed my finger on what this hullabaloo was about with me. I figured out that the feeling of being watched was not in fact a childish worry, but a foreboding that they were getting closer. Of course, I didn't want her to know that.