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chapter xii. crossing the line tw: mention of self harm & major family problems
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BELLA HUMMED QUIETLY THE TUNE TOO HER SONG FOR MAX, she already had the chorus in her head and it was the perfect thing, it was just getting the other lyrics now. Isabella had sort of changed the song too sad more then soft and happy. Her hand brushes against Max's as they walk side by side along the train tracks making their way back to Steve's car, Bella had no idea how long they had been walking but she knew that Grace will be mad that she ditched her guitar with her.
Bella feels her cheeks flush red when Max's hand brushes against hers again, Dustin and Lucas where in front of the two girls arguing over something stupid and Steve was leading them like a field trip with school, it would make the situation even funnier if he had a compass and a map with glasses that sat on the end of his nose making him squint his eyes and realise their lost. Bella chuckles as she things about it making the red head turn too her, "What's so funny?"
"Oh, I was just thinking about how we're walking like we're in a field trip with Steve being the teacher, it would be even funnier if he had a compass and a map and those glasses that sit on the end of someone's nose and he had to squint hit eyes and then realise that we're lost." She explains, watching as a small smile spreads across Max's face. Bella feels her heart flutter knowing she got the red head too smile in this whole scary experience, "Uh, you know, you don't need to be scared, all of us here will protect you."
"I know, it's just all just a little... much." Max widens her eyes and gestures with her hands, Bella nods looking at the track where they had walked along around 2 hours ago where the meat had been tossed onto the rotting wood and Steve had given Dustin relationship advice. "How do you deal with it all?"
"Uh, I don't." Bella chuckles, looking at the red head, "Yeah... I don't really deal with it... I just sort of, live with it -- you know? I know it exists and I just live with it, knowing that somewhere another reality exists." Max nods, kicking a stone too the side of the track. "I got high once... after the first time it happened -- I smoked weed and I got high from it... best decision I've ever made. It just took all of it away, the pain and the memory of it all... especially the guilt, that was the best part, I felt ... free of the never ending void that is sucking me up and taking me in whole."
