The Broken Bond

Vows & Refusal

No one greeted Karna in the palace, and no one was pleased to see him. The king of Anga was given worthy chambers, but no one was waiting for him in them. The servants either averted their eyes or stared as if he had grown two heads, and Karna told them to leave. Then he sat on a large bed, which many could only dream of, and looked into the darkness. He felt empty. It seemed that his wishes came true, but this did not bring joy, only the pain of loss. His ears still echoed the roar of the angry mob and his father's words, and his forehead burned where Prince Duryodhana had smeared his blood.

Prince Duryodhana.

The thought of him caused confusion. Karna felt gratitude, turning into awe, and at the same time bewilderment, because little good things were said about Prince Duryodhana and remembered without joy.

But none of those who once called the prince a little Rakshas in human form, did not want to extend a hand to Karna and recognize the validity of his claims. Nobody. No one. Only Prince Duryodhana. How could Karna reject his mercy there, on the square, crushed, humiliated, already almost buried alive? Should he have refused?

Yes, said his father's voice sternly in his heart. Yes, I should have.

Karna clenched his fists in a surge of anger.

Not!

He didn't do anything wrong! He had the right to have his talent, blessed by Surya Deva himself, noticed. Was it not an insult to God to neglect a great gift? Why did no one want to understand this?!

Well, Karna thought bitterly, now his abilities and his life belong to Prince Duryodhana, called the demon spawn. And woe to those who dare to argue!

Anger could not melt the bitterness in his heart and dry the tears in his eyes.

That night, Karna could not sleep, too disturbed by everything that had happened.

Shortly before dawn, he left the chambers and headed out of the palace without taking a new chariot and horses. He also wanted to leave the crown, but at the last moment he remembered that now he should not go out without it. The guards at the main gate looked at him disapprovingly, but remained silent, and Karna did his best not to notice them.

He barely made it to the bank of the Ganges to offer the usual offering to Bhagavan Surya. When the edge of the sun appeared from behind the horizon, Karna was washed with caressing warmth. Surya-dev did not deprive him of his favor, and this returned him a little peace and faith in himself. Exasperated in the sunlight, Karna almost fell asleep right on the shore, but he came to his senses in time and headed back to the palace.

Along the way, his feet carried him towards his native street, but he turned onto another road: this place was no longer his home.

His father's voice rang through his head: '

The hands the holds the string of chariot can't hold the bow. As long as you wore the crown your have no place here.'

Climbing the stairs, Karna thought about what he should do now. What do kings do when they don't fight, don't hold court, don't give orders, and don't sleep? And how do they actually judge and decide what order should be given? He didn't have a clear answer, Karna hadn't thought about it before.

When you don't know something, you need to ask someone who knows, and if you don't know how to do something, you need to ask someone who knows how to be a student. This time, Karna did not have to choose a mentor, there was only one person in the palace to whom he could turn. And he still had to find out if Prince Duryodhana needed anything.

Karna ran up the main staircase and stopped when he caught a golden figure out of the corner of his eye. Turning around, he recognized Queen Kunti. She was still beautiful, just as when she entered the city on the chariot of King Pandu, just as when she walked barefoot along the main street, and the people fell to her dusty feet, as to a source of grace. It seemed to Karna that he again felt the gentle motherly caressing his hair, and his throat was squeezed.