Mine ||HEESUN||

14 - One more line before I overdose

Hi lovelies! Heavy chapter incoming - and I think this might be the longest chapter yet! Just a heads up, CW: Sunoo spirals a lot into self-deprecation/hate regarding his ED, and then later on talks about it (in a healthy way, he's venting). And although written in third person, events are described from the character's pov. Don't worry, this chapter is very hurt/comfort, so hopefully you won't be too sad in the end. Enjoy!

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A sigh left Sunoo's lips as he lay in bed, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. He could faintly hear through the walls how his parents were arguing with each other, and it only worsened his mood because he knew the only reason they were upset was because of him. 

After going to the hospital, the doctor told them the reason he had gotten a concussion so easily was that he hadn't been getting enough nutrition and his body was far more fatigued and weaker than usual. When asked when the last time he properly ate, Sunoo completely blanked and couldn't say anything to take away the guilt he felt when he saw the concerned expressions on his parents' faces. 

So, as soon as he got home, he ran to his room and locked himself inside, feeling absolutely shit about everything that was happening. But on the other hand, he couldn't stop thinking about Heeseung. It seemed as if the smallest thought of the older male had him smiling already and he kept replaying the moments from the infirmary over and over in his mind. 

Despite being half-conscious, he could still remember every single touch, every single endearing gaze the older gave to him, and it made his heart race wildly in his chest. Yes, he was still upset about the day before, but he knew Heeseung wasn't just going to let it go and that he was going to explain the situation properly to him. 

But he couldn't stop the horrible feelings of guilt that kept hitting him every time he thought about Jake's reaction. He needed to know why Jake was so afraid, why he had been so concerned that anyone found out about him or Heeseung. He was even more confused because Heeseung did have friends, the few skater boys they met in the park a few days ago, so why was he treated like an outcast? 

The more Sunoo pondered on these thoughts, the more his head began to ache again so he decided to shut his mind off for a while and get some sleep. His stomach growled at him, and he felt that burning sensation in his gut once again, but he closed his eyes and forced himself to think about something else. He didn't feel like eating, and he knew his parents were going to force him to eat as soon as he went downstairs, so he decided to give himself a break for now before all his hard work would be ruined again. 

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Heeseung was a mess. 

Ever since Sunoo left school and he had that argument with Jungwon, he felt overwhelmed and didn't know what to do. A day passed and he had gone back to school to find that the pink-haired male wasn't there. He had contemplated going to Sunoo's house to see the younger boy, but every time he thought about it, he remembered Jungwon's words and he felt horrible, and decided not to visit Sunoo.

The truth was, after hearing how Jungwon thought Heeseung would hurt Sunoo, he just couldn't stop thinking about whether Jungwon was right. What if he was going to end up hurting Sunoo? What if he never made the younger happy, only caused him more pain? What if Sunoo never wanted to see him again? 

Heeseung knew it was dangerous to let Sunoo get involved with someone like himself, even if the younger was the one who had come to him first. But Heeseung had been so selfish - he cared about Sunoo too much to let him go. The younger male meant everything to Heeseung and only now he was realising how much it would hurt him to let the younger go. But it would hurt Sunoo even more if he kept being around him.