Secret Love Song

The One That Follows The One With The Bubblegum

"And then she kissed me," 

I was explaining last night's events to Naomi. Augusto was hosting what adults call a dinner party, and we were in his living room, while he was in some other place of the house doing God knows what. We were all waiting for Valen to arrive. 
"Damn, that's intense," Naomi replied with their eyes shining like they do when she watches a rom-com, "what kind of kiss was it?"
"I mean," I thought about it, but no answer seemed right, "it was all types of kisses in one, you know?"
"I do know," they crossed their legs and settled their face over one hand. "I mean, I've never had one of those," her eyes wandered upwards, as she contemplated the idea, "I don't think I'll ever want to, it just seems, like, way," an amused grin showed up on their face, "too intense." She rest her face and then added: "but I do know."
"You're not wrong, though. I mean, I like her, I really do, and you knew that way before I did," she nodded, "I'm happy that whatever is going on is happening," then her eyes pulled a little shine that I knew for a fact was a second nod, "but- there's also this lingering torturous pain to it?" I chuckled. "Does that make sense?"
"Yeah, it does," she paused. "I'm not a fan, but they say love is supposed to do that."

Love. 
Such an extreme word. 

I don't think I could ever love someone- romantically, I mean.
I think I can just think they're an outstanding person, one I want to know every little detail of and one I wish to never part with.
I can just want to experience every stupid thing life has to offer with them and, maybe, I just would never tire of their small quirks I actually hate.
Can't I just know I'd murder anyone who hurts them and go to jail proudly? That I'd gladly move to a different country under the single condition that we're buying a pretty house and living there until our bodies give up? 
That I would die if they weren't around?

But I don't think that's love. Not that I really know what love is. 

It's just that I feel that exact way with Naomi and Augusto, and I know for a fact I'm not in love with them. So why does it feel different with Valen when it actually doesn't? 
It's the same thing, except there's this fucking magnetic force pulling me to her even when she's not around, and my body could easily tear if I tried to stay away. I can literally feel pieces of my soul leaving my body to devote themselves to her every single time she smiles. 

I have no idea what it is that I'm feeling. All I know is that it's the same insanely beautiful and passion-filled feeling I have for my cousin and the person in front of me, but that it also couldn't be more distant. 

"She told me I taste like bubblegum," I added, with a small amused grin. It was the most random thing anyone ever told me, but it really stuck. She scoffed. 
"It's true. It makes no sense, at all. Especially since you never have gum on you. But it's true."
"That's so weird," we laughed, dropping our weights on each other for the smallest second. 
I grabbed their hand. "So," she said, "I guess this means our deal's over."
"Yeah, it is," I said with a slightly nostalgic smile on my face. 
"I'm happy for you," my smile grew. "It's obviously cool, I just thought we should officiate it, you know?"
She let go of my hand and positioned it straight my way. I grabbed it, shook it, and slid it to fit her hand once more. We smiled and broke into laughter. 

After a while, the bell rang. On the other side of the door, Valen's hair was wavy. She always wore it straight, long, but now it was a bit shorter and it had captivating waves. 
"Woah," the words left my mouth before I could even process the image. The tank top she was wearing was black and in the shape of a button-up shirt, and had that particular neck, giving off masculine vibes, yet contrasting with the tight, also black, jeans that modeled her curves. "You look amazing," I sweetened my compliment. 
A slight smile showed up on her face and, for the tiniest moment, she stared at me as if she could pull my soul out of me. And I felt it leave my body.
"Girl, that is just-" Naomi jumped in and Valen's gesture was replaced with a friendly smile headed their way. A peculiar sensation took place the moment my soul returned to its natural place.  "You look- Damn! So hot." 
Valen scoffed. 
"Doesn't she look hot?" Naomi asked me as if words could leave my mouth and make sense. 
I simply nodded, choking on her looks. 

We let her in. Augusto was in the kitchen, taking the food out of the oven, and a kind smile showed up on his face the moment he saw her. 
"Hey, there," he said, placing the plate on the table. 
"Hey," she mumbled. 
"Listen," he walked her way, "I know we started off on a really wrong foot, but- I heard great things about you. And I'm sure you haven't about me, but I can promise you, I'm actually a nice guy. I just like pretending I'm cool."
"You are kind of cool," she simply responded. He scoffed and a second smile, a wider smile, appeared. 
"So it's all good then?" he asked, with a more rethorical tone. 
"Yep. It was like five months ago, I'm not still mad."
"That's great."