Secret Love Song

The One With The Party

I was at home, about to make dinner and have an early night when someone knocked on the door.

I opened it and met with Valen's somewhat disturbed face. I let her in, and as she passed through the door she said: "take me to a party."
"No way,"
"Take me to a party," she insisted.
"No, Valen, I'm not taking you to a party," I accidentally simpered. I just couldn't grasp the fact that she was actually asking me this. There she was, wearing the most childish pink shirt, making the most ironic demand.
"Just take me to a fucking party," her eyes stared at me with a seriousness I had never seen before.

It was the first time I heard her swear.
Did I do that? Did I turn this innocent, perfect girl into someone like me?

I complied. I wasn't about to mess with whatever was going inside her, and I wasn't going to ask. If she wanted to talk about it, she would have told me.
I paid Naomi a call and asked her where today's party was. We took the train there.
"Hey, baby!" Naomi ran into Valen and embraced her. "I'm not gonna ask you what's going on because you know you can talk to me if you want to. But I am gonna tell you I love you, and I'm here for you. And I'm also gonna make this a long hug."
I got myself a beer, and one for Naomi, too, came back, and they were still hugging. Unbelievable.

We danced, us smokers smoked, us drinkers drank, we sang at the top of our lungs; we had fun. Valen seemed better. Her face didn't look as disturbed anymore. At one point, she grabbed my hand and took me to a room.
The music faded and there was silence. I sat on the bed against the wall and she placed her head on my legs. I caressed her hair.
"I saw something I wasn't supposed to see," she voiced, after a long quiet rest.
I turned to her. "My phone was dead and I wanted to use Instagram," she continued. Her face shrank and I could feel the shock, confusion, and disgust she was feeling. My gut rumpled and I kinda felt like I would throw up. "So I went into my dad's computer. He has this chat with this insanely hot, like a disgustingly hot woman. And I made the huge mistake of reading it," I could see where this was going, and I could relate to her response. It was a fucked up thing. "He's cheating on my mom. He's been cheating on my mom for like years now."
"I'm sorry, Valen," I made a sad gesture and rubbed, delicately, a finger against her cheek.
"But you know what the worst part is?" she choked, "I spent my whole life pretending to be someone I'm not because I- I didn't wanna let him down," a small chuckle left her mouth. "I used to think of him as this perfect man," she widened her eyes, "this annoyingly perfect man. And I thought if his daughter wasn't as perfect," she was kind of whispering, for some reason, "it would destroy him. It would tear him apart. But, no, he's just an asshole," this time she let go a full-on chuckle, and I was shocked. I didn't know what to say. This was just too much for me.
"I have the biggest complex," her laughter continued, "with myself, and my sexuality, which isn't actually wrong, just because he wouldn't understand. Turns out, I couldn't give a fuck what he understands, and what he doesn't, 'cause he's just a bad person," her eyes filled with tears and I could picture her breaking. I held her hand tight.

Then, she looked at me. I mean, she actually looked at me. It was like she was seeing me for the first time. Her eyes sank into mine, and somehow they became one. She leaned in, and right before pushing her lips against mine, she stopped.
I could feel my heartbeat racing. I was terrified. And I could feel hers too. She was just as scared as me. Our lips lingered against each other, and my breath just stopped. I bit my lip. Her eyes wandered my way, and I sort of nodded, without actually moving, and so she kissed me.

At first, it was a slow, timid kiss. Every time our lips met, an electric shock run through my body. But then I wanted more. I grabbed her by the hair and I pulled her in as if I could somehow melt us together, and I bit her lip.
And our tongues met for the first time, and the electricity happened again, but only in my lower stomach. And I could feel butterflies around us, and fireworks and I hate pink but, somehow, the air turned the prettiest pink.
And then I died.
I died in that kiss and I came back to life every time she met my lips.