𝙎𝙃𝘼𝘿𝙊𝙒 𝙊𝙁 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁𝙇𝘼𝙈𝙀

𝘁𝗲𝗻

Maven

Lerolan yells at us for the tenth time today. My lungs are burning up and sweat is pouring down my face, but I keep going. It's all I can do anyway. We run around the field and then move to other exercises to build our muscles. Cal isn't here, which somehow makes it less draining. And anyway, there's a certain satisfaction that comes with the pain of training.

"Don't lag behind, it's only warm up!" Lerolan yells.

I huff out a breath and put my hands on my knees. We've been going since sunrise and the sun is almost all the way up. As I wipe sweat off my eyes I spot a group of workers passing by the field. I strain my eyes to study the faces among them. He's there. Thomas.

He sees me and waves, accompanied by his characteristic smile. It makes me feel warm. Not the usual kind that comes with my ability. It's different.

"Stop chasing butterflies and get down on a plank!" Lerolan looks at me with hard eyes.

I find it hard feeling intimidated by it now. I get down on my arms with a smile.

♛

"You look happy today."

"Huh?" I look away from the Red table I was looking at to see my brother standing, tray in hand, beside me.

"I think it's the first time you don't have a scowl on your face."

"I don't scowl!"

"Yes you do."

"Liar."

He laughs and sits next to me, grabbing his fork. "So what's got you so bright today?"

"Nothing in particular," I tell him. I was let off training early today and even spotted Thomas with the group of Reds passing by the field again. He smiled at me when our eyes met. It wasn't anything special, really, but I felt good knowing he was there. I think we're friends. He's nice to me and I find myself enjoying the time I spend with him. It's a strange feeling.

"Nothing?" Cal quirks an eyebrow.

"Yeah. It's just a good day."

"A good day?" He looks even more shocked by my response. "Who are you and what have you done with my brother?"

"Is it that hard to believe?" Now I'm annoyed. Can't I just be happy for no reason?

He laughs again. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad, but if I didn't know better I'd think you have a crush or something."

It's my turn to be shocked now. "What? No!"

"It's okay, Mavey. There's plenty of pretty girls here."

"Ugh." There isn't. Well, I mean, sure maybe a few, but I'm not interested. I've never really done anything with anyone, and it's not like I look particularly forward to changing that. Cal should know better. He knows how difficult it is as a prince of Norta. Though, of course, it's a little easier when you're not the heir.

"Whatever. It's not that at all," I say.

"If you say so." He gets to his food and the conversation ends.

For once, I'm not glad for the silence that makes me fall back into my thoughts. It feeds my head with endless doubt. I'm just happy because Lerolan didn't shame me today at training in front of everyone. I'm happy because my brother wasn't there to make everything worse. Isn't that a good enough reason? I'm happy because I also got to see Thomas.

We've been spending some time together, just talking. And it's nice. I've never talked to anyone, not like I do with him. It feels liberating to be able to tell someone what I think, what I feel. Even though I can't tell him everything. And listening to him is just as pleasing. The ideas that he has are so unlike the ones I've heard from Reds. Then again, back home Reds aren't allowed to voice their opinion. If he knew who I was he probably wouldn't talk to me as much, so I've been keeping that a secret. It's not exactly that I lie to him, I just don't correct him. I haven't told him anything and he has made up my backstory all by himself.

I haven't participated in the periodical meetings with Generals to spend time with him. And in my free time I usually search around camp looking for him. We walk through the buildings and barracks and sometimes I keep him company with his duties. He's fun to be around. When I told him about the front I thought he wouldn't want to hear me talk anymore, but he did. The following day he came up to me to ask how I was feeling and it was the start of whatever it is that's happening between us. Every day he surprises me by showing up and starting a conversation. 

I haven't told Mother about him in my letters yet. I'm not sure why. It's not like I'm doing something wrong, but somehow I know that she wouldn't be pleased to find out I'm associating myself with a Red. Especially because it's not with the purpose of obtaining something from him. It's a friendship. I think. But she doesn't know about him. We're not exactly secretive in our meetings though. Other workers have seen us walk around and I'm sure Cal could find out if he wasn't so busy, but I'm not openly telling him. It's weird that I somehow want to keep it to myself. I find joy in having something that is solely mine and not fabricated or faked.

In the cafeteria, I get a perfect view of him and his friends at the other end of the room from where I'm seated. Thomas doesn't see me, but I don't mind. I like the feeling of being able to watch him without him knowing. I'm happy I met him. But that's it. Isn't that a good enough reason to be happy? It is just a good day. Decent training, no Cal, and Thomas.

Bright laughter reaches me from the Red side of the room and I repress the smile that threatens to grow on my face. It's just simple happiness, right?