𝙎𝙃𝘼𝘿𝙊𝙒 𝙊𝙁 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁𝙇𝘼𝙈𝙀

𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘆

Maven

Cal arrives from the front today. The workers are buzzing with the upcoming arrival since they need to receive, clean, store, and register all the goods that come with it. Not that I'm paying any attention. There isn't anyone there that cares for me, and so I don't care for anyone there either.

At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Every once in a while I still meet a pair of honey eyes, but we both turn away after a moment. At first I tried to hold his gaze, but any attempt was futile, so I just stopped. I've focused on keeping to myself and finally attending the meetings I keep getting called for. I've also tried to drown in exercise, if only to prove a point to Lerolan when he gets back. His words scream in my head, along with Mother's.

Do not fail.

I'm at the cafeteria when Cal's legion arrives. It's mostly empty since a lot of hands are needed elsewhere and I take my time moving the food around my plate. When enough time has passed, I pick up my tray and take it to the cooks with the food untouched. The man nods at me before taking it and looking behind me.

"Thomas!" he calls brightly and I freeze.

Don't look back. Don't look back. Don't look back.

I hear a set of footsteps approach me from behind and fight every urge to look at him. He moves around me to greet the cook.

"Good morning, Bill." His voice is as sweet as always, and despite myself I turn to him, but he ignores me.

"This is for you," the cook, Bill, hands him a bag not unlike the one we took on our trip last week.

"Thank you." Thomas smiles his beautiful smile and finally turns to me, his face turning serious. I stare back at him and wonder if he's even slightly less upset about everything, but he walks away without another word.

Before I feel worse, I walk out as well and head to a conference I'm supposed to attend, but the whole time I'm engulfed by my own thoughts. What would Mother say? Perhaps she'd be glad it's over. Perhaps she'd erase him. If she knew, she would tell me it's a good thing I'm not socialising with a Red anymore.

And what will Father say? Has anyone told him about Thomas? I certainly hope not. He has no right to know anything about my life because since when has he cared for me? All he cares for is Cal and Cal and his precious Cal. Mother keeps reminding me that and maybe I should start listening to her. If I did, maybe I wouldn't be moping over a golden-eyed boy. A beautiful golden-eyed boy. A beautiful golden-eyed boy that hates me.

I wish my head would shut up for a minute. Being here wouldn't feel like such torture if it stopped, but it's hard to keep my thoughts in check. Especially since some of them don't even feel like they're mine.

After an hour, the conference ends and I leave the room without looking at anyone. I wonder how long I can hide in my tent before someone comes calling.

"Mavey!"

Fuck.

"Cal," I place on a cheerful mask. "When did you get back?"

"A couple hours ago. Did no one inform you?" He looks clean and his hair is still wet from a shower. A dress uniform clings to his figure perfectly. There isn't any trace of war on him.

"I'm afraid not. I was in a conference just now."

"Ah, you're not running away from those anymore?" He jokes and I swear part of me wants to punch him. Did he hear about my scolding?

"Not anymore," I smile tightly.

"Let's eat together. I'm starving." He turns towards the cafeteria and I fall in step beside him.

"I just had breakfast."

"You can keep me company. Besides, I have news from home." Cal shows me a letter with the golden seal of the King.

When did that arrive? Why was I not called for it? The seal is broken already, meaning he's read it without me. 

"What does it say?"

He smiles mischievously. "We're going back to Whitefire for my birthday. Father wants to throw a ball. And we can finally sleep on our beds. Man, I miss that."

I thought the news would make me happy but going back home means I'll have to face Father and Mother and every little opinion they have about me. And staying means I have to deal with the coldness of a certain Red boy that can't even look at me.

"That's great," I lie.