𝙎𝙃𝘼𝘿𝙊𝙒 𝙊𝙁 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁𝙇𝘼𝙈𝙀

𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘆-𝗼𝗻𝗲

Maven

Mother is among the small group of Sentinels and servants when the aircraft lands. The entire flight back to Whitefire I kept bracing myself for this moment, and yet I still feel something in me tremble. Even if she hasn't been filled in on everything that's happened at the Choke, one look at me certainly will. Even the things that haven't been shared with the King. Even the things I haven't told anyone.

I take a deep breath before stepping out next to Cal and offer her a private smile.

"Your Father wanted to receive you as well, but he was busy with a meeting," Mother tells us once we're close enough to hear her over the aircraft's noise. "He wants to meet you in his study when he's done. I'll walk you there."

"Thank you, Elara," Cal answers. I simply nod.

We walk in silence the rest of the way. At least for anyone watching.

Your Father knows.

I try not to trip on my feet as the force of her voice floods my head. I'd almost forgotten what it sounded like.

You were not to fail.

Her anger reaches me in waves. I know I failed and broke her promise, that I didn't do what I was supposed to. But I try to tell her that I tried. That it wasn't easy but I tried to fight and train and become a soldier like the King wants me to. And I just couldn't. Thinking of the front still makes me quiver, remembering all the screaming and all the blood.

Mother doesn't say anything else for a while and it's almost worse. It's not because she didn't hear me. I know that. The fact that she's silent is not for lack of communication. I hope that whatever she sees in my head doesn't disappoint her too much.

That is not an excuse for a King.

It stings right where she intends it to. I know my argument won't be enough and I'll have to do more to pledge my case, but there is a little part of me that hopes. A part that hopes I won't be sent back to the Choke and that I've proven myself enough. Despite what the reports say, I have gotten better. Even Lerolan would agree. I just hope it is enough.

You think he will listen to you?

I don't answer. I don't need to.

Don't forget who comes first in the King's eyes.

I know.

When we reach Father's study, Mother bids goodbye and leaves us waiting for admission to the room. Though I try to hide it, I'm nervous. Mother's words only rippled the fear inside me and it makes me uneasy. She is rarely wrong. I worry I may not receive any good words in my favour. Whereas Cal will certainly be complimented on his exceptional performance. Automatically, my thumb starts scratching my index finger. It's an awful habit. One that Mother has tried to get rid of and that I had almost dropped, but  it comes back unexpectedly.

"We'll be in contact!" Volo Samos walks out of Father's study with an envelope in hand. When he notices us he beams and bows. "Good to see you boys! Cal," he adds with a bow.

My brother bows back. "Good to see you, Volo."

He leaves the door open as he walks away down the hall.

"Come in," Father's voice calls us from inside.

I follow Cal into the room, falling in step behind his shadow. It's been a long time since I last came into this room. Tall windows decorate the back wall with shelves standing in between each one. Father sits behind his large desk in an intricately carved seat. Not as great as his throne, but close enough. Cal and I stand in front of him and he regards us with a bend of his head.

"My sons, I hope the trip was pleasant," Father greets us with a smile. "It's good to have you back home."

Before I can answer he directs his attention to my brother.

"Are you excited for your birthday, Cal?"

"Sure, but it's the ball that worries me," my brother answers, bringing out a laugh from the King.

"You'll do fine. The servants have been ordered to make new suits for you so you'll look sharp tomorrow evening." He turns to some papers on his desk and frowns slightly. "You should both enjoy it the best you can before you are due back at the front."

The words are a knot in my throat. I should ask for leave from the war front. It's what I'm here for. I cannot go back there.

"Ah, yes, General Samos and General Lerolan told me there are new plans for the Lakelanders." My brother suddenly turns into a soldier before my eyes and I'm almost jealous with the ease with which he does it. Especially since I haven't been told any of this, but I bite my cheek and try to follow along. "There have been various attacks along the front."

"Yes, I've been informed," Father nods and looks at both of us, barely glancing my way. "Don't worry about it now, there's a big day tomorrow, and later you can go back to work. Rest up for the ball. It's going to be a long night."

We nod. Father sends us away and I haven't pledged my case. Cal turns around but I keep my feet planted. I take a deep breath.

"May I stay to talk to you?"

I feel Cal stopping behind me, probably confused. Father keeps his eyes to the papers on his desk.

"You may."

"I'll leave you be," my brother leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

When it's just us, he finally looks at me and it takes everything not to crumble under his gaze. Mother's voice comes back to me. You think he will listen to you?

He has to.

"I was wondering if I've been discharged from the Choke," I say.

He frowns. "Excuse me?"

"I've trained with General Lerolan as you've asked me, and I've gone to the front—"

"General Lerolan has told me you've done poorly. In every report he says you're lacking at something." He picks up the papers he was staring at before, skimming through them. "He says you are unable to fight. In the front you get paralysed. You still can't use your flame properly. Ten people died because you couldn't fight!"

The papers slap against my face and I wince.

"Cal has helped defeat Lakelanders in a confrontation, using his flame and training to do so. He follows orders without question. When someone tells him to fight, he fights!"

My fists clench. Of course he would bring him up. The entire conversation before was entirely between the two, with me as an invisible audience. It is always about them. I grit my teeth.

"But I am not Cal," I say.

"No, you are certainly not." He turns his head away and I focus on a spot on the floor to ground myself.

"I tried," I say quietly. "I really tried to—"

"But trying isn't doing! It's about time you learned that!" he yells.

I flinch.

Blood oozes into my nails.

The King sighs. "No, Maven. You are not discharged. After Cal's birthday, you are going back to the Choke to continue your training until you can fight like a true Prince. Is that understood?"

I force myself to look at him. "Yes, Your Majesty."

"You are dismissed."

I bow deeply before turning away and walking out of the room. My fists shake. I'm breathing hard as if I'd just ran and I can't seem to focus on anything.

"Maven."

I nearly jump at Mother's voice. I hadn't noticed her. She stands by the door, studying me. There's a slight line between her brows in concern.

"Come with me."

Mother never hugs me. She isn't that type of person. But she has other ways of showing affection.

I follow her through the castle.