𝙎𝙃𝘼𝘿𝙊𝙒 𝙊𝙁 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁𝙇𝘼𝙈𝙀

𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘆-𝘀𝗶𝘅

Maven

"Hey, Thomas."

He turns to me and I reach into my pocket without really looking at him. It still doesn't feel completely right.

"I brought you something," I say. "I know you like these and, well, I got some so..."

I give him two pieces of golden-wrapped chocolate.

"Thank you," he says. He doesn't quite look at me either. I wonder how long this will go on for.

"How are you?" I ask. "Is your wound...?"

"It's better. And—and you?"

"Good too."

"Good."

"Yeah."

He nods.

This is torture.

We're in the cafeteria by the kitchens. I've been building up the courage to walk up to him all through the meal because we haven't talked since the infirmary, and it's been days since then. Sure, we acknowledge each other now. If our paths cross he waves, I wave. And we walk on.

I tell myself it's better than nothing. At least I don't have to fight my body to keep from looking at him. At least I don't have to endure his indifference. But it feels as if we're just getting to know each other all over again. Except it's harder this time because he's the one that's wary. And I'm scared to send him running off, so I'm careful. More careful than I wish I had to be. Because part of me just wants to hold him and not let go. Part of me wants to run my hands through his hair and see his sunny smile again.

By my colours, I missed him. I missed him so much. And now he's finally talking to me again. And now I can finally look at him again.

Though there is noise around us, the silence between us is deafening.

"I'll leave you to it then," I say and take my leave. I hand over my food tray to the kitchens and walk away. Part of me waits to hear him call me back. But I get out of the cafeteria and he doesn't.

It's still too soon. I wonder if he'll ever truly trust me again. What else am I supposed to do? I've apologised. And I never apologise. Princes shouldn't apologise. And yet I know deep down it's not enough. Not when he's grown up his entire life believing something and I fed into that narrative by lying about who I was. Still if I changed my mind about him despite the colour of his blood, can't he do the same?

"Maven, wait!"

I turn around.

Thomas stops a few feet away, his hands a nervous fiddle. "Are you... very busy today?"

I will my face to stay calm and collected. "I have a meeting in a few minutes. But I'm free after 17:00 hours."

His honey eyes look around. "Should we... do you want to meet by the ammo buildings then?"

I need to fight a smile.

"Sure."