I thought I lost you (byler)

The painting

Guys okay so I realised "Jonathon" is spelt like Jonathan BUT it's too late cause I already finished writing the fic so please forgive me and try read past it 😭💕

(Will POV)

After Mike had told me about how he came to see eleven I felt my insides turn. I didn't want to show how truely painful his words were so I walked away.i didnt want to say something id regret.  But, then I heard shouts from the els room...

I peer through the small spacing of the door in which I watch mike standing up and el sitting on the bed. She tells him he doesn't love her. At first he denies it but then eventually goes silent.

'That's bullshit. 'I think to myself, Mike loves el with all of his heart. Its all he ever really thinks about to he honest. When we were in California its all he talked about.. he worries about her.He cares for her in a way he cant even care about me. He loves her.

Her. Its always been her.

I watch as they continue to argue. Then slowly my surroundings begin to fade as i feel this an Icey cold feeling rest on my neck. I am now only surrounded by darkness. Through this void a deep voice eerily echoes.
"I wont stop until I have everyone. Everyone you care for. They dont love you will. They dont care for you." The voice repeats. And repeats and repeats.

Vecna.

Ever since I entered Hawkins I could feel him. He was weak, hurt but still alive. He lingers inside me. Inside my thoughts. I mainly feel his presence hover over my neck.

These past couple days have been torture. The voice of the devil himself growing louder. He tells me im worthless. Useless. A mistake. He reminds me or my weakness. My feelings. Mike. Over a short time I began to hate myself more and more. Then Mike showed up today and I had hope. Turns out he didn't even care about me.

I.dont.matter.

Suddenly,  I snap back into reality to see El whispering something into Mike's ear to then go sit down. Did they fix their argument? Mike hesitates then turns towards the door. I quickly step back.

His eyes filled with pain and although no tears were present. I knew inside he was crying. He was just never good at expressing his emotions. He isnt weak. He isnt like me. He looks up at me his face solemn.

He looks so beautiful even when sad. His eyes glistening  over the beautiful freckled patterns on his face. He is perfect.

It agonising to see him hurt. Eventually he looks down: his head hanging in hopelessness. I need to do something. My brain was flooded with thousands of thoughts. SAY SOMETHING WILL DAMMMIT. Its funny how time slows down in moments like these. I let out a genuine sigh.

I find my myself moving towards him and hesitate for a second.

I wrap my arms around him.

I hug him.He hugs back.

He.hugs.back.

The hug lasts long. I havent hugged Mike in ages. Not after i left to California. He doesnt understand how much I missed him. The real him. My best friend.

Eventually Mike pulls away. Not that I wanted him to. He could stay buried in my arms the rest of my life and I wouldnt complain. Id do anyhting for him.

I need him.

I love him.

I show him to my room and we sit on my bed in silence. His face still drowing in pain. Him and el were perfect. Why did she think he didnt love her? He did. He does. I look towards Mike his head still hanging down.

"Are you okay?" Words slip from lips.

Mike doesnt say anything he exchanges a quick glance towards me then back to the floor. His face still solemn.

That was such a stupid question. Of course he isnt. His girlfriend he has loved for years just broke up with him. Your so stupid will. So so stupid.

"That was stupid I mean not you. I am. I mean im being stupid. Of course your not okay. But we can talk about it.. if you want." I fumble on my words. He looks up at me again my eyes enchanted by his.

"No. Your not stupid. You're just being a good friend. Im just processing everything. Thinking." He gives me a reassuring smile.

I smile back.

"Despite how much I want to deny it. El was right. I treat her like a superhero. I cant help it. Its just how I see her. I love her because of all the things she can do and has done. She is a great person. She is greater than me. Better than me. Thats the problem. Its all I see her for. I wasnt being a good boyfriend." He sighs "I just hope she knows how much I care for her."

"She knows." The words quickly bounce off my tongue. "She knows."

We both sigh then hang our heads for a couple of seconds.

Mike restarts the conversation.

"There was something else I wanted to talk about." Mike says I watch a small ounce of regret emerge in his eyes.

I nod nervously in anticipation . Did I do Something? Was it about Vecna ?

"Remeber in California in the van. The painting." Mikes eyes are glued onto mine I know he is trying to read my face. To get a hint of how I was feeling.

I should of never given him that painting.

My heart skips a beat. Of course I remeber the painting that took me weeks to make. The meaning behind it. My feelings. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't lose him. I cant lose Mike. I need Mike. In this single moment I live a thousand memories. Memories of Mike. His smile. The tears. Our fights. My self hatred. I love mike but he doesnt love me. After what he said to El in California I now know. El will always come first. Always. No matter what. Whatever came before el doesnt matter to mike. I don't matter and thats okay. I have already come to terms with the truth.

I snap back to reality as I realise i didnt Mike a response. Instinctively I nod.

"I asked El about it." Mikes words pierce my heart and scramble the thoughts floating in my brain.

He what?

"I asked El about it. She didnt ask you to paint it did she?" Mike says his face now serious.

"Well actually she did she probably just forgot...ummm... it was a while ago." I blurt out praying he will fall for my lie and just move on. I really fucked up.

"Will. Your lying." Mike says slowly his words cutting deep into chest.

"Im- im not lying Mike I-" I begin to stutter.

Mike cuts me off.

"Friends.dont.lie." He speaks even slower than before.

Friends. Dont. Lie.