I thought I lost you (byler)

Boys dont cry

trigger warning: violence. Bullying. Homophobic words. Homophobia in general.

(WILLS POV)

I stumble away from the house tears running down my cheeks like river streams.

stupid. Stupid. Stupid. So stupid.

I told him. Why did I tell him? Why was I such an idiot?

I lost my best friend cause i couldnt keep my mouth shut.

I lost the only person who matters.

I lost Mike.

I continue head towards the woods. My chest heavy and my kind racing with so many thoughts. Usually id go to castle Byers but I destroyed that last year.

I have no safe space.

I let me legs guide me. Anywhere but where Mike is. Where everyone is. They know. They all know. They hate me. Dont they?

"So, so stupid." I mutter to myself.

Im alone. All this time I had been asking to be left alone but I never realised how painful it was to be truly lonely.

I hate myself.

Why am I like this? Why cant I just he normal? Why cant I just fit in? Why am I freak.

I break down in the middle of the woods. I fall to my knees drowning in my melancholy memories.

I remember the look Mike gave me. He didnt say anything. He just stared.

He didn't say anything.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid" I cry.

"You sure are stupid. Fairy." I look up to see Troy and his friends sneering.

Oh,no.

I havent seen him in years. Why was he here?

"Mike told us about your little queer outburst. I knew it. I knew you were a fucking fairy." Troy laughs.

His words burn threw my brain.. Mike wouldnt do that. Would he? Did he really hate me that much?

Troys two friends grab me by each arm and force me to stand up.

"You're not real." I say to myself.  But why did it feel so real? I could no longer differentiate between what was real and fake.

Was this really happening was Troy really here.

"Oh lookey here the creative queer is crying. Cry all you want fairy boy. " Troy laughs.His friends laugh along with him  "You're not real. You're not real. " Troy mimicks me.

"Just. Just let me go. Please we wont cross paths again. I promise." I plead trying to hold in the remainder of my tears.

"Shut up fairy." Troy shouts. . "Your kind is the reason Hawkins is cursed. We are being punished for fucking fags like you. Hawkins was better when you went missing. You shouldn't exist. You weren't supposed to exist. You are a mistake ." Troy shouts at me as we are nose to nose.

His words are engrained into my brain and burn through my chest. I feel my my stomach drop.

I Shouldn't exist.

I should of never been found.

I am a mistake.

"Get this fucking abomination on the tree." Troy grunts.

The two boys slam me onto a huge oak tree. Holding me down. At this point I don't even fight them.

I no longer have Mike. He hates me. The one thing that made me feel like I wasn't a mistake probably thinks I am one now.