Unrequited II F4 Thailand

Staircase

TW: Panic Attacks

I hadn't talked to Gorya or Kaning since yesterday–saving it for later. After I parked my car, I slipped on my noise-canceling headphones before walking into the building. It was a mundane morning. Students stuffing their lockers, taking stuff out. I went to my locker and took out a few books I needed for my first class. As I closed the door, a few people brushed past me, bumping into me. 

"Ow," I said as my book toppled to the ground. Rude, he didn't even look back. I hung my headphones around my neck as I bent to pick up the books. I stood up to see many people whispering amongst themselves, and surrounding the TV monitor. I tilted my head in wonder, walking closer to the cafeteria until someone stopped me, turning my whole body around. 

Surprised, I met eye contact with a heavy-breathing, messy-haired Thyme. He clutched my upper arms as he asked, "Do you know where Gorya is? I saw her go upstairs...I lost her."  "I-uh just got here. But, if she went upstairs, I might know where she is," I said. His whole expression lightens as he smiles at me, "Can you show me where she is? I've got something to tell her." 

I laughed at his excitement. He looked confused and asked, "Why are you laughing?" 

I snorted and covered my mouth to stop myself, "I've never seen you like this. It's funny." He frowned and whined, "Come on, Nova. Can we be serious right now?" 

I ruffled his hair, and he bats my hand away. I chuckled, "All right. Let's find your girlfriend." He blushed as he combed through his hair, "We're not official."

"Yet," I said as I enthusiastically pointed my index finger to the sky. He shook his head as he followed me. We ran a little up the stairs towards the rooftop. I pointed to the door and said to Thyme, "Maybe she's here. I'm not sure though." 

Thyme nods as he pushes the door open. I ran after him once he walks through. "So, is she there?" I asked. I abruptly stop behind him, as he stands in front of me. I tapped his shoulder but, he didn't notice or ignored my question. "What are you do-", I asked but, as soon as I stepped next to him, I saw them. 

My skin turned cold as I watched my best friend and fiancé rocking side to side, in an intimate hug. Ren's hand caressed Gorya's hair, and Gorya's arms held around him tightly. My throat closed as I registered that Ren did have feelings for Gorya. That was more than just a friendly hug. Feelings that could never be for me–and this solidified everything. I didn't know whether to be devastated or betrayed. I wasn't angry at Gorya. I was angry at him for continuing to embarrass me and hurt me. 

Thyme turned around and left the rooftop without me, without a single peep. I hugged my textbooks as hard as I can, I didn't know why I was still there. I should leave, but my legs weren't following my command. They broke their embrace and, Gorya looks in my direction. Her eyes widened as she stood frozen in place. My eyes stung as I met eye contact with Ren. His eyes spoke a different song, but I didn't care enough to look in further to find out what it was. I turned towards the door, my vision blurring from the number of tears, and my legs stumbling out. 

"Nova!-", I heard Gorya call out. I blocked it with the door, and ran towards the staircase, pushing the metal door open. I needed air, I felt my chest tighten and my throat drying up. I ran down the steps but, my legs gave out–making me fall off the stair and onto the platform. I dropped my books from my hands and winced at my knee, a scar, bleeding from the fall. 

I scoot towards the wall and lean against it. I was so tired of being hurt; I was so tired of feeling this way. My breathing wasn't improving, and I needed my inhaler. My lungs felt like they were being squeezed along with my throat. My anxiety was making it worse. I cried as my shaky hands felt my pockets but, it wasn't there. My backpack lay on the other side of the floor. I crawled towards it, my knee stinging against the concrete, and reached my arm out to take the handle. I hastily opened the bag and found my case–which held my inhaler and pills. With shaky hands, I administer the inhaler as quickly as possible. I rest against the wall as I start to feel relief, and my breathing became less erratic. I searched for my water bottle and took a couple of pills to relax my muscles. I closed my eyes and was so exhausted; I was so done with it all. 

The door to the staircase opens, and I hear a voice say, "Nova..." I opened my eyes to see Ren in front of me. He kneels to the ground and touches my face, causing me to look at him. I bat his hands away, "Don't touch me." I struggled to stand from the ground, and he holds my waist to provide support. As soon as I stood up, I stumbled a bit but had enough strength to push him, "I said, let go of me, you asshole! I want to go home!" 

Ren says, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to call your mom." 

I turned around, "You're not doing anything." He doesn't respond to me as he takes my bag from me and searches for something. I hit his arm as I exclaimed, "What are you doing?" 

He takes my keys and says, "You're not going to drive."

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" I yelled. Ren doesn't listen to me as he calls someone. His hand kept a firm grip on my keys. I scratched at his hand so it would open, but nothing worked, no matter how hard I tried. 

Ren doesn't show his pain in his expression and says, "Yes? Hi Uncle Ken. It's Ren. I just wanted to call and say I will be dropping Nova off at home. Don't worry, I got her."

I dropped to the ground–my knees bent against my chest as combed angrily through my hair. My heart beats fast but, my body felt the opposite. I knew I was too drugged up to drive but, I didn't want to go anywhere with him. Ren bent to meet my level and calmly said, "Let me take you home." I frowned, "I'm not going anywhere with you."

He sends me a concerned look, and I scoff, "Don't look at me like that, you don't care about me, right?"

I continued, "All you do is continue to embarrass me. A-and my best friend? Did I deserve any of this from you? What are you trying to do? Make me more miserable than I already am?!" My hands started to shake, and my body was sent into a frenzy. The stress is building up in my brain, and it was difficult to control this sick feeling I held inside. Ren doesn't answer as I continue hitting his chest out of frustration, "I didn't ask to be engaged to you! If I could, I would take back everything! I wish I never came back to Thailand! I wish I never met you!" 

I stood up abruptly and turn away from him. My head began pounding with pain as I leaned against the wall. He stops me, holding onto my upper arms, "Nova-"

"Let me go!", I shouted and slapped his face. My hand stung, as I'd never felt this sensation before. I looked at him with shock, and I formed my hand with a fist, shoving it down to my side. 

My body grew heavy, falling to the ground, taking Ren with me as he held onto my arms.  

Ren clenched his jaw as he looked at me with earnest eyes. He gently brushes away the tears from my face and holds my hands, to lessen the shaking, "I'm sorry, Nova." My head pounds from the pain as I felt my consciousness slip away, succumbing me into a spell. My body grows limp in Ren's arms, and that's all I remember.

...

Note:

Short chapter but super jam-packed with content 😁. Thank you guys for over 10K reads! Forever humbled/grateful that you are so engaged with this story. Thanks for voting and commenting as well. I can't answer some to avoid any spoilers–need to keep the suspense! But please continue leaving your thoughts. I do read every comment, and appreciate them all. TYSM!

Dani :)