How To Keep a Husband

Chapter 11

Nathan's POV

I stared at the divorce papers infront of me. I hadn't signed them yet. Annette's lawyer contacted me but I didn't make any effort to reply. How could I?

The night of the party when Annette confronted me, I knew that I fucked up really bad.

I realized that she knew what I was doing all along.

I met Evie around 6 months ago and kind of hit it off. She was beautiful, intelligent, bold, sweet and different. She made my life exciting. The way she dressed and the way she talked. She had me mesmerized.

I spent the nights with her and sometimes I didn't even go to work because we slept in late.

But in the back of my mind there was always Annette. She was my first real love. She was the first girl I truly cared about and nothing could change that.

I felt so guilty about cheating on her and I wish I could go back in time and change things. I don't know why I did it.

Evie made me feel something new and exciting but with Annette there was this comfort and coziness. Annette was my home. My haven. My safe place.

I didn't want her to find out about Evie and I. I hoped to keep it a secret. I wasn't even suppose to introduce them that day at the house. Thinking to myself that Annette wouldn't be home, I made the mistake and brought Evie over.

Evie was fun, no doubt. She introduced me to BDSM. She made me feel indescribable things. Evie was willing to do anything I told her. That's the difference between her and Annette.

Annette was always going to speak her mind no matter what. If she didn't agree with something she would make sure it was known. I chuckled at the thought of her. She wasn't someone to pretend. She was free and lived her life as she pleased.

She intrigued me.

We were trying for kids and when she ran into difficulties I took a step back. I wanted children. We both did and when she couldn't get pregnant, I neglected her.

I didn't mean to but it happened. I see now that my actions were so fucking stupid.

How could I treat my wife like that? Especially when she had endometriosis.

Annette had been loyal to me from ever since we started dating and how do I repay her? By sleeping with Evie.

I felt horrible about it. I couldn't leave my room. It's like I was going insane. I can't believe she left me and the sad thing is that I didn't know where she was. I was losing my fucking mind.

I cut all connection with Evie. I didn't want to see her again. She tried calling me but I blocked her. I wanted nothing to do with her.

I walked over to the box on the table and took up Annette's wedding ring. My Annette is gone. She's fucking gone.

I re-read the letter so much times. She really poured out her feelings. I made her feel like she wasn't good enough. I made her feel like she was useless. My soul was aching. She was my other half. My one true love. I missed her.

The line in the letter that stuck out to me was: "I became good enough to fuck but not good enough to love."

I treated her like she was some whore. I used her and then left as if I wasn't her husband.

If I had to choose it would only be her. Didn't she know that? But she shouldn't have to be an option or a choice and she knew that. I fucked up so baldy.

Hot tears trickled down my cheeks and I didn't even bother wiping them. Is this what hell feels like? It's been weeks and I can't even get myself together. I wanted to be alone. Alone with Annette. I wanted things to go back to the way they were.