Shades Of Blue

Chapter 21|Femininity

As Henry and I walk back into the room, I see George tidying up as Iris walks Brinley out to drive him home.

With all that's been happening these past few weeks, I think it's best I just do everyone a favour and keep my distance. I spoke to Henry and Eleanor about it, much to their dismay, I feel it's something I have to do.

Maybe I'll even figure out what the hell has been going on.

I don't remember doing anything to hurt all these people and yet, it's crystal clear that I have.

Although, my reaction to Brinley probably cements everyone's opinion of me. That I'm just some bratty, bitchy rich girl from old money who thinks she's above everyone else.

I don't.

If I'm being honest, I've never liked being classed as rich, my mother is rich in money but, me? No. I just live under her roof.

I've always worked for majority of everything I own. For god sake, I drive a beat up, almost sold for scrap, 2011 Mitsubishi Galant.

The sunroof is busted which sucks, yes but, it still runs.

"El? Elaine?"

I'm broken out of my thoughts by George waving her hand in front of my face.

"Sorry, what?"

"Gosh, you really are always up in the clouds like he said" George chuckles as they hand me a towel, "wanna go for a swim out back? Henry is leaving for work so, just you and me"

"Oh, he is?" I ask as I take the lavender coloured towel covered in white daisies.

They hum in response just as Henry himself appears, "sorry, my mom just called asking where I was, I gotta go unfortunately" he says as he smiles awkwardly, "hey, George you've got Elaine, right?"

"For sure"

Henry smiles as he leans down, hastily placing a kiss to my lips before running out to leave, "I'll call you later, bye"

"I- okay um, bye" I stutter as I'm frozen in shock as to what had just happened.

He kissed me.

Henry Forrester kissed me.

"Did he just..."

"Uh huh"

"Wowza"

George hollers as they turn to pick up the towel and shades, placing them on their face as I turn around. They smirk playfully as I feel, for what could be the millionth time, a heavy blush forming across my face.

Not only was that our first kiss but, it was my own very first kiss. It was for only a split second but, I felt like I had just gotten off of a rollercoaster.

Rollercoasters may not be everyone's forte but, for me they're exhilarating and excited. That's how Henry makes me feel.

"You okay there, Ela?" George chuckles as she hugs my shoulder while we make our way out of the sliding glass door, "you're completely flushed, girly"

"Ask me again in an hour" I manage to say, taking a deep breath.

George laughs again, making me feel even more flushed and I can feel the cherry red spreading to the tips of my fingers.

"Oh hey, who said I'm always up in the clouds?" I ask, recalling her comment a few minutes ago when she was trying to get my attention.

"Hm? Oh, Beck had mentioned it"

Oh.

-

After a few hours of swimming and playing around with George's puppy, Gomez, we decided to relax on an air mattress her older brother had blown up for his college party a few weeks ago.

Yes, we checked for any suspicious markings or smells.

All clear.

"So, I have a question but, I feel like I'm being rude by asking it..." I query as we lay floating slowly around the pool.

"It's okay, you can ask, I'm pretty much an open book"

"Okay, I just wanted to say that I really do admire your confidence and all but, I guess my question is; how did you know you didn't feel like a she any longer?" I cringe as I taste the words as they drip from my lips.

George chuckles as one of their arms drops over the side as they swirl a finger across the water, "I mean, I still feel some femininity, obviously, I guess I just don't fully identify as just feminine, I think a lot of people can tell I have a lot of masculine traits also"

"I just see confidence in who you are" I smile.

"Well, thanks El, so what made you feel the need to ask about all that?" George says as they perch up onto their elbows.

"I'm not sure, I just feel I've been different"

"Different, how?"

I hum as I look up to the sky, "like with my identity, I feel like Elaine is just who I was, maybe? I'm not sure, maybe it's just a weird identity crisis and I'm going insane"

George snorts as they roll over into the water, "Elaine Dearly, it's okay to question who you are or who you feel you want to be or even who you were"

"Thank you" I manage to say right before I'm thrown from the air mattress, landing in the pool with a splash.

We laugh as the pool lights switch on and the solar lights on the patio come on.

I hear two sets of clicking heels as the back door slides open smoothly and the footsteps stop by the pool edge.

Lillian Sawyer.

"Hey G, late swim?" she says as she clasps her hands together in front of her small frame.

"Mhm, yeah Elaine decided to stay, the others went home" George says as they backstroke toward the other end of the pool.

Lillian smiles tightly as she notices me, she turns her head and says, "oh, hello Elaine, I haven't seen you here in years, how are you?"

This feels weird. Not just because she said hello Elaine, the exact same way my mother does but, she's actually talking to me with a smile?

"Hi Lillian, yeah it's been awhile, I'm exhausted" I keep it short and sweet, "how're you?"

She seems surprised by my asking how she is because she stutters as her head tilts to the right slightly, "you know my name? I'm okay I suppose, busy"

Now I'm the one surprised as she asks if I know her name. Everyone knows her. She's Lillian Sawyer. Beauty queen, smart, very much social and I guess, a ray of sunshine.

We share a small almost awkward smile as the second person comes into view and to say I have never been more shocked in my entire seventeen years of life would be an understatement.

"Meredith?"

"Elaine?"

.｡*♡✧*。