Shades Of Blue

Chapter 40|Hi

It's been a few days since the whole homecoming debacle.

Use whatever word you will; fiasco, catastrophe, fuck up, disaster or mess?

I had spoken to my mother about the entire thing, I hadn't even noticed that my curtains were wide open and that the boy next door could basically see into my room. I wasn't crying. Maybe a tear or two shed but, other than that, I basically just paved my room the entire night until I tired myself out.

On another note; I never did find out who had sent that weirdly chilling text. Maybe it was just a dumb prank.

Anywho, I hadn't spoken to Eleanor in days, I made up with Meredith, I guess she was in the dark just as much as my brother had been.

Eris had told Zander and then I guess my father was in the kitchen when he had overheard so, he now knows and then when I was in the kitchen making food my grandmother had asked if I was okay.

I guess she knows too.

I haven't spoken to Beck at all, I have been avoiding him at all costs. I just don't feel ready to rip that band-aid off right now.

As for Henry, I decided to tell him over FaceTime. I know in person would have been more ideal considering the almost kiss but, I was already feeling guilty enough.

He was hurt. Why wouldn't he have been? Beckinsale Carter is his teammate and friend.

Maybe this just has all happened for a reason. Call me crazy but,  I still believe it had rained that night for a reason. It was a sign in my opinion.

Although, I don't know what the incoming days, weeks or months have in store for me, I can say that I feel free enough to end the school year on a note of self discovery, self love, growth (not just with my height) and learning more about acceptance.

"Hey, what are you doing out here by yourself?" Zander asks as he walks up behind me as I sit along the beach.

"Oh, I just wanted to sit and watch the water, it's pretty calming"

"Fair enough, everyone else was wondering where you were, I thought I'd go looking for you"

I smile as he sits next to me, "what are they all doing up there?" I ask.

"Oh, they are now playing a game of Jenga, I believe, next up? Jumanji, don't wanna be there for that" we laugh as the breeze becomes lighter in the atmosphere.

"Uh oh, we're lucky Mr and Mrs Carter allowed us to use their beach house for this special occasion, Cal Tech, dude" I smile as I wrap my arm around his shoulder.

"I know, I mean, I am pretty excited, you know"

"Of course you are and you really are going to be the best engineer and second best scientist" I place my hands in the sand as I side eye my brother, seeking his reaction.

He raises an eyebrow, "second best? To who?"

"Me, of course"

"Ohh wow, you're certainly confident aren't you, El" he snorts in amusement at me as I nudge his side with the roll of my eyes.

We sit in complete silence for a moment until he decides to stand up, "alright, as much as, I love the beach, I'm going to head back in and see who is winning at Jenga, maybe I can get in on the action" he raises his brows as he jogs backwards before turning around.

"Weirdo" I shout as I hear his laughter being cut off by the slide of the glass door.

Looking out, I can see an ocean with a horizon full of opportunities and someday, I will be following that horizon.

I know I'm being oh-so-poetic and maybe a tad bit extra but, this year has been filled with events, enough to fill a lifetime.

Kind of.

As I lay my hands in the sand, I begin to make patterns as I away my fingers through each grove in the sand. For some reason, as I'm drawing, I unconsciously form the letter 'B' in the sand by my feet.

Maybe it was the fact that, he had been running around in my life for so long that now, he's in my mind. Not necessarily wreaking havoc but, he's just... there.

I know that both Eleanor and Beck had said that their entire relationship has been a fluke but, it didn't start that way.

At least, not for Eleanor, as far as, I can tell she really did like Beckinsale Carter. In the beginning it was light and fuzzy for her and then after the double date at the diner, I always had my suspicions.

I just did not expect that the reason for their break up was because of me.

All this time, it was me. When Meredith had been accusing me of having something with Beck when he was with Eleanor. When Henry's friend had basically snatched my head off, calling me a two timer.

I had absolutely no idea what anyone was seeing that I could not. Until, it was standing in front of me, face to face, telling me.

But, I should not be thinking about negatives right now. At a time like this, there is only time for happiness and celebration.

I take a deep breath, inhaling the cool, sea air as I come to a stand. As I dust of the sand from the back of my legs and pants, I turn slightly to walk back up to the house and as I do, I'm greeted by someone I had no idea I would be seeing so soon but, I'm glad I am.

"Hi, Elaine"

"Hi"

.｡*♡✧*。