Stained

16

Stained
CHAPTER SIXTEEN

MORTAR AND PESTLE, I guess this is how my body would function for awhile. My mortar is beaten by the pestle - the palpitating pain - grinding every inch in me, pulverizing my remaining vigor, and weighing me down as the pressure in my head drops to my insides.

I'm not complaining. These impacted me physically and it was accidental, opposite to the mental traumas I have faced that was birthed intentionally by a certain someone.

Everything, everyone... everywhere I glance is blinded with feverish fog. Out of my five senses, my sight does not make sense. I hear the crowds in hurry, their footsteps filled the floor. Sniffing in this room has been my number one enemy. Any smell that barges in to my nose is either a misty, manageable mint or chemicals and odor. There is nothing in between them. To top it all off, my throat is a desert that even my tears are unable to quench my thirst.

I blinked thrice, nothing. Blinking just itched me to scrape my eyeballs. The same hazy shadows are passing by and clarity is nowhere to be seen, what's clear to most is blurry to me. Bakit napakaraming tao? Saan na ba ako napadpad?

Sinubukan kong gumalaw para umupo mula sa pagkakahiga, ngunit kapalit nito ang hindi makayanang sakit sa buong katawan ko. But hey, nagawa ko pa ring sumandal sa headboard. Congratulations!

My orange juice, what the fuck did I get myself into? Have I gone insane, lost control, and pushed my drunken self to sell my internal organs in the black market? Because I swear to every word I wrote and said, I have stitches. Yes, stitches. The plural form.

Huwag nila kunin ang puso ko, watak na watak na 'yon. Malayo na sa pagiging malusog. Palibhasa kasi 'di naarawan, ilang buwan na ring hindi nadidiligan.

"Gumising na siya! Nurse!" a relieved-sounding woman screamed.

Ang huling lugar na pupuntahan ko ay ospital, pero nandito ako. Kaya pala amoy... ospital, air freshener, at dugo.

Seconds forward, my arms went stiff as it reacted to the sensation of hands touching me. They are gripping on me as if I was a rope for them to grasp and hold. Ang higpit masyado, hindi naman ako tatakas.

"The anesthesia has worn off, Ma'am."

Paulit-ulit akong pumikit at dumilat, pursigidong makakita nang mas malinaw pa sa relasyon niyo. Tulad ng natutunaw na yelo, lumilisan na ang nakakalokang biglang paglabo ng paningin ko.

There I saw my Mom, Genevieve, on my left. Her eyes are bawling. Both with a rain of happiness and a cyclone of despondence and sleeplessness.

Oh my, I'm sorry for this burden.

"Mom, anyare?" pagtatanong ko habang hinahayaang lumubog sa kaalaman ko na talagang totoo ito, totoo ang mga nagaganap.

"Car a-accident, darling. Tumama ang taxi na sinakyan mo sa poste." Pinunasan ni Mommy Genevieve ang mga luha niya gamit ang likod ng kanyang mga palad.

What in the tragedy movies is this? I forgot to insert a memory card, remembering is my present obstacle. Wala akong ganoong maalala tungkol sa aksidenteng iyon.

It's Rome whom I can recall, the fondness pouring out of his face when I put our picture on his clasp...

Was it that bad? Mabusisi kong inobserbahan ang aking balat. Nababalot ito ng mga pasa, gasgas, at mangilan-ngilang tahi na ubod ng hapdi. Pagkapa ko sa ilong ko, may bandage pati rin ang ulo ko! My left leg is immovable as they have enclosed it with a cast. Isama mo pa ang transdermal patch na nakadikit sa akin, kung saan sinasalin ang medication.