sufi | book 2

Brian

When I got the news about my father I was in share care with my brother Brian and I was kinda get some fucking sleep but end up hearing his phone rang and I heard my other brother's voice John. I knew the shit hit the fan when I heard John's voice and then I heard the words Debbie Melancon. I ended up wanting to go in to investigate and end up seeing what's going to happen. Pretty soon my brother Brian ended up Handing me the phone. And I had a brace myself for the big shit show that was going to happen. It turned out it wasn't the best way she went out anyway John said I'm sorry but your mother our mother had died and I wanted to say the F word and I said permission to say the F word. So I still have the F word anyway even though he cannot handle swearing but I guess he didn't understand at this point in time. I could not get a hat handle of things and I was wondering what happened what happened to my mother. Whining said that she was on too many blood thinners and she haemorrhage outof all of her orphasis or holes and I'm not being dirty about this I mean every opening in her body was bleeding out or and she Exsanguinated you know the word she bled to death because of the fucking blood thinners.
The only thing that was comforting for me as a human Roy to active a a person person was that he was not in any more pain I could just imagine the torture that she was in in the first place or some how I went through into the world. Or at the exact same amount of pain as I came into the world and came into her life and now The script has been flipped and now she was being tortured not by terrorists or anything by that matter but by wrong body she was a prisoner I don't nobody by means how do I know because I haven't said goodbye to her. I can tell she wanted to move around but she couldn't because she was in so much intense pain and I asked her when I visited her for the last time if she was experiencing a zero 10 or above 10 and she murmured above 10 which means a very intense pain. The fact that my brother said she's now no longer in any pain she's not suffering anymore that sounded a lot better as a human rights activist and as well as I told her survivor as well I had to except the fact that she was now in a better state of mind better state and body in better state of everything now. Again I don't fucking believe in atheism or religion so don't even fucking bother with that. I just believe in spirituality are people are going to die physically they're going to die but emotionally or physically but in the spirit round they're back to their usual healthy self as if nothing had happened. Except they had left loved ones in the earth realm or secular realm. I believe that she is still around in nature whether be the stars of the big dipper that my father had taught me when I was four years old or whether I was also seeing the trees change colour even though some of them are changing colour now or whether be through a nice breeze or a hot summers day or sometime is it a thunderstorm she knows I like those. So I believe that just like the Native Americans are the indigenous people as they're called that they are still with us in spirit in nature. How do I know because I found that out when my grandmother had passed away my mothers mother and she didn't pass away the most dignified way that she died pretty miserably too I don't know why male misery goes on normal people are good people but besides the point. I am the believer in shaman is him reading about shaman ism and stuff as well as also other forms of spirituality and I just saw it I was going to believe that my mother was in the stars was in the trees was in the flowers or whatever else the nature has to provide. She may be around as you read this under a tree you never know. About the spirit world again it could be like Facebook within with the Shaminism it is exactly like nature is fully accessible you don't have to friend request a spirit. That's why I believe in this virtuality. One time my mother was an atheist and a Catholic. But then she became spiritual after I blasted her about not believing me about the dog operation see previous bark. And I ended up actually climbing up and she learned that I believe in that the stuff that I Cal is the true and real. So when I told her than I have seen my grandmother or I've seen a ghost since I've been in therapy she had believe me ever cents. She even believe me when she saw that I had seen siren head. That is it going to be a funny fucker of a story. One time I ended up going on an outing someone said look at the nice pond I wasn't too very interested in the fucking pond so I looked at the trees I love I like the trees better and ended up seeing above the trees to opposing sirens are opposing size of a pole and that was indicative of siren head and stupid of me to not bring my fucking camera. This is the opportunity when I should've brought my camera but I didn't or my smart phone or iPad actually when I mean camera. And I was so mad with myself. And I still remember we always drive by this area all the time is near my old town of Almonte. What is siren head you're wondering I'll tell you right now.
Shine Renhead is an entity that was created by people with PTSD war related PTS to your terrorism related PTSD which is more or less warrelated. When they see two sirens sitting above the trees they know that they've seen siren head it has been passed down since World War I to I believe the gulf war and the Serbian Bosnian fight which was more of a pussy fight did anything else because it was not fair to the Bosnians to be killed off but anyway you could still hear the sirens the mysterious sirens. He only comes out during times of war or famine or pandemic and I know there is a war in Syria and a pandemic going on right now still. If you want to look more about siren head a little Camarillo for an hour Isabel but he was more or less popularized by a guy named Trevor Henderson one of my idols my other idol is Ghia vitale.
Now siren head only resides in the finals of the Internet instead of reality I believe that he is real just like the Grim Reaper or other things but I just happen to have a sighting near my hometown. I was very strange for me to deal with that at one point to have this and I ended up deciding I was going to believe in Zion and I believe in him before when they said there was PTSD involved siren head is real to me always was. But me with PTSD I ended up perpetuating the siren head misos and the siren head legend to the next generation. I know this sounds kind of goof off in the brewery even when I told my brother and the damn atheist I ended up saying that I saw Sirenhead and he said it's just a fucking Internet thing. And I told him to fuck off. There been plenty of times I've told Brian to fuck off one was that I wanted more tattoos he said that I had just enough tattoos and I told him to fuck off it's my body I'll do what I want with it within reason and I don't wanna cut myself or hurt myself or kill myself so I don't do that or starve myself so I don't do that shit the only thing I do is each dress tattoo the way I want just as long as it's not hateful is that so fucking hard to ask for. I guess it is for some people because I couldn't believe myself when he said you have enough tattoos and I flipped him the bird. It wasn't because of my mother dying it was just because I have an addiction to tattoos they're beautiful pieces of artwork that you can create yourself I do design tattoos for fun for myself or other people so that's why I do that I create tattoos or go tattoo hunting to see what tattoos would look nice on me but either way I am not going to have the meld together and look like yakuza that's just wrong.
I also believe in piercings and will be getting my septum, nose and Monroe done one day. I work a job I clean for tattoo money and also to burn off some calories martial artist style traditional martial artist style by cleaning a place called Bates House I clean this house once a week for 20 bucks sometimes it goes towards tattoos but right now it's going towards a new guitar I'll tell you the story about this soon enough but anyway what happened horses are wars autograph crazy and want people to autograph my guitar but they said it was too beautiful and I said well I can make it more beautiful and it will not be touched until I get a new one for autographs and as a spare in case this one bus up. I'm always been interested in artwork Weatherby tattoos tattoo designing drawing painting or in this case marking up my guitar I enjoy our very much and doing usually creepypasta are but in this case with the guitar I did today sunrise over my cherry burst guitar with the pre-911 skyline of New York and then in the black part of the guitar I ended up making a nice night scene in Canada so that was very good. What happened was I was taking out the garbage and I felt bored after I took out the garbage and decided to do the draw on my guitar why because I wanted it to be very interesting and beautiful to begin with. It was already beautiful but I wanted to show that I had been North American for 30 going on 32 years I was adopted at two years to months and when I came to Canada I was immediately turned into a Canadian citizen and then and arranged you to be Canadian. But I don't just consider myself Canadian I consider myself north American. So that's why the guitar and why the artwork on the guitar and you're probably you know why I chose the pre-911 skyline of New York because I was a torture victim by terrorists as you probably guessed via my previous box so that's good to know. I'll tell you what my triggers are loud noises and bullshit and very extreme pain like the kind that my mother was in in to begin with when she died. I also despise people leaving me or dying on me because or blocking me on Facebook because it just pisses me off to no end am I a psychopath no am I a sociopath no I just have PTSD and abandonment issues so this is gonna be a bitch to deal with with my mother. Anyway I'll tell you more about my brother more after.