sufi | book 2

My favourite memory of my mother

When I realized I was LGBTQ I am was telling my mother that I was more less like Alice generous who is a talkshow host who is also lesbian and she had a big mouth on and I said I was no different from ours except that I was much quieter and more dignified she said you're telling me you're gay and I said yes and she said we except you and I realize that was what was happening was that my mother was excepting me for who I was in the first place.
She said I always excepted you and we always excepted you as who you were in the first place we didn't understand you at first but we do except you. And then she told my father who is in The hospital with a TIA or mini stroke he always had mini strokes when he was younger because of his stress levels he had an anger problem but he was very excepting of me as well even though we didn't see Ida ion things. We got along very well anyway he excepted me for who I was as well and my mom said well this is who you are this is what's going to happen in your class going to be who you are in the in in the first place at first we thought it was Tisha but it wasn't it was just some thing that you were made of in the first place and I'm sorry for that. At one time I had a hell of a time kind of tell them that I was LGBTQ because of bullies and people brainwashing me they had a history of saying that my friends brainwashed me into doing stuff but really just wasn't brainwashing this was me expressing my DNA as it was to begin with and I didn't like the bullshit about the idea of being told that I was not believe that first or not valid because of the friends I kept until I was far enough away from high school graduation that I was able to go and say exactly my peace that I was no different from my hateful person Alice degenerous who is nothing more than a loud mouth snorke when I compared her to me as me being more quiet more class and less loud. I never liked her she showed him begin with that's what I was trying to say and then it turn out to be coming out of the closet little did I know when I was a little older that I would be coming out of the closet again spoiler alert I'm auto romantic now which is still in the LGBTQ Community with Giam part of it just means that I date myself instead of other people. I was wondering why I've been having such a shitty time with either man or women kind of finding the right person when the damn person was right in the goddamn mirror staring back at me. A little bit more about that later when I do my other book but anyway and that one's gonna be a little more explicit I warn you about that but anyway she excepted me as auto romantic auto sexual as well. I would tell you the story but as I said it would be a big fat fucking spoiler so I'm not gonna mention anything about that. And she was there when I told her that I was going to marry myself in a few days or a few weeks I'm gonna marry myself I got the ring lined up and everything. Because I am who I am and I am who I love in the first place I do love other people but in a plutonic way like friends I don't really give a shit about romancing other people a romance myself and date myself that's about the size of what I'm gonna say about that little daddy. As I said my mother would let me get away with bloody murder if she if it weren't for the law. . I remember my brother one time when I was talking to him hanging out with him for a week last week actually that he said you didn't never did anything and thought of a guy or a girl and I said no and he jokingly said I was subhuman but really it's just disorientation it's just me being human. It's a little rarer than usual the auto romantic or auto sexual I guess that's why he was freaked out and said I was subhuman but anyway we became somebody's again afterwards so there's no need to piss on the ass. But anyway I was very angry when he said that. I was never jail bait or anything that was attractive to anyone else except me and that's what matters the goddamn most. Yes I am a model yes I am a rapper yes I am talented and smart but a yes a date myself instead of other people because I've had nothing but shit with other people. And I think my brother sends that as well and he said that I was nothing bait or subhuman. But really I am only human and it is a human condition. It's called an orientation is valid by law and by medical community and it's just this your in love with yourself you're attracted to yourself just like it used to be subhuman to be lesbian or gay or bi and pan or translate it was this is no different this is a new orientation they have to be stressed I think you're starting to be recognized. I have a hero her name is Ghia Vitale.
She is a body positive and happy person who cries her best to be decent she's a very big influencer on Twitter and is also a writer she is very interesting. I'd like to get her to know her more as a friend and just a friend only obviously because I'm auto romantic auto sexual but anyway I would just pick her brains and get to know where and be your friend and that was basically the size of it. I was going to marry myself in January but then some dumb fucker named Marcel Who is a four-star general and also a four-star abusive motherfucker ended up ruining everything I was going to go for an interview and serve until he came along fucked everything up. He made me open a bank account on his behalf and he also hacked my Facebook's I still have to make new Facebook's from this point on a fucking annoys me you also told me to kill myself one time which wasn't too nice and I was damn near close to that again. When I told the workers about him they said that he was a pile of shit and I was in the same thing with my mother I told her about him and that she said he was a pile of fucking shit first time I ever heard her swear but this guy deserved it and I reported him to the FBI then I was in a whirlwind of trying to date other people again for getting my roots in the first place and I fucked up when I met Bradley I got fucked up for a few days and I just saw that was the end of the getting fucked up in the head by other people and being abused by other people I was going to go back to my auto romantic route so I was a lot aw one I will found out I was auto romantic again I will tell you I would tell you but it would be kind of creepy anyways that's who I am anyway I decided I was going to stay auto romantic this time even if someone tries to do me I'll tell him to fuck off. Because that's basically they're what they're looking for his fucking money or sex or both and he's with either one of them is meaningless to me. What I am looking for is someone that I know and trust very well that I can know is verified not to cheat on me and who else is better than that and myself and my mother excepted that as it is as well she realize I wasn't lesbian straight by her pan but the a lgbtqia auto romantic auto sexual or asexual kind of person and that's how I am from now on. I know my mom would want me to be happy for the rest of my life even though right now is a shitty time for her. And shitty time for me I mean she has to adjust to a completely new life and I have to adjust without her physically being here to talk to and say stuff like if you were still alive I'd tell her that I joined a writing contest by accident and then I enjoy riding and then I might be on my way to being a famous author even though this is still it's sad that she's not able experience or hear about my adventures anymore like I am seeing my new tattoos or something even though I didn't get any new tattoos between now and the time I got the Jupiter Mandela. I still feel sorry that she cannot experience life with me anymore I still remember also this.
OK when I'm going to the mailbox trying to get my Amazon orders in the street and I would be getting emotional every time there was an empty void in the mailbox so I ended up taking my phone with me calling up my mother and saying you want to walk with me you don't have to walk but you just have to talk with me as I walk to the mailbox or to the corner store to get a gift card either way involves Amazon. So I ended up talking to her as I walk around the town road to the mailbox and I tell her about the good things that are going on in my life like I saw the big dipper for example yes and example. Because it's just amazing to see or something or I saw something already so met someone that was really famous or something that I didn't know was famous until they tell me or something like that it was very interesting. To tell her my stories about my life and now I have to do this on Wattpad so that's what I do. So I tail my stories here instead and I don't bother with anything with telling other people my stories unless they happen to be alive or non-judge mental. Because there's a lot of judge mental fuckers out there that'll fuck up your life and I know me being auto romantic and auto sexual I can easily be judged as a psychopath or a narcissist for loving myself. The tune to go on a hand when it comes to psychopathy so I wanna share that before I write the other book that auto romantic or auto sexual or dating yourself is not a mental disorder or mental or personality disorder and stress who you are. Is the way you're wired in your DNA it's the way you're supposed to be in the 1st Pl., God created you in other words is what nature intended you to be. I believe that and I don't give a damn if you're gay by lesbian pan or whatever else is there just as long as you're a human being and you're not interested in deviant stuff then I'm fine other than deviantart.com that would be about the size of it but other than that if you're leaving and I will not have anything to do with you that's just the way I was raised to begin with. And that's how I am. And I don't like judge mental people because they can be racist to and I have beat that dead horse so many damn times it's getting ridiculous and talking about racism. I'm gonna tell you what I think about Islam a phobia and homophobia or trans phobia which also pisses me off.