To Begin Again (narry)

please don't

Niall can't do it. He can't sit around and wait for the text. It's all too much. He hasn't slept, he feels exhausted but can't seem to fall asleep. He's been tossing and turning and frankly, it's annoying him. So he gets out of bed and quickly changes into a jumper and jeans, he doesn't even bother on styling his hair. He goes to the toilet to quickly freshen up before starting his day. He decides to go out for a walk, leave his cellphone behind because taking it with him won't help him calm his racing heart.

As he's slipping on his trainers, Aaron comes out of the bedroom. He's already dreading having to make conversation with him.

"Good morning," Aaron smiles softly. "Where are you going?"

"Walk around for a bit, I need some fresh air." He mumbles, looking anywhere but at him. "I'll see ya later."

"Niall, why don't you eat something first?" He's worried about Niall, he heard him cry all night. He hates seeing him so sad.

"No, 'm okay." He is certain if he eats it'll just come right back up.

"I can make you a latte." Aaron takes a hold of his hand and tugs him forward.

"No, 'm fine." Niall finally looks up at him, regrets it immediately when he sees the worried look on his face. "Really, 'm fine."

"I don't believe you." He wraps his arms around his shoulders and hugs him. "I'm really worried about you."

"Aaron, I'm only going for a walk. There's nothin' to worry 'bout." He moves away from him and puts on a smile. "I should be back in a hour or so."

"Okay," Aaron sighs in defeat. "Be careful, I'll wait for you here."

Niall wants to tell him not to bother, he's not planning on coming back anytime soon. He wants to clear his head and wait until he's certain Curtis has sent him the text message.

"Hey, Niall?" He says before the Irish boy could walk out. "Love you."

He lets out a wet laugh, sniffling as he looks up with tears in his eyes. "Love ya too, mate."

"Just wanted to let you know." Aaron shrugs, a smile on his face as well. "Go on then." His smile fades as soon as Niall walks out.

Niall shoves his hands into his pockets, keeping his head down as he walked down the street. Only glancing up when he hears loud laughter, he watches a couple walk hand in hand stealing kisses from one another. And he can't help but imagine them being him and Harry. That could be them, if Harry wasn't in love with someone else.

Niall takes a deep breath and shakes his head, he needs to stop thinking so much about Harry. It isn't healthy.

He wonders if they're already married and Curtis' text message is there on his mobile, waiting to be read.

"Christ, Niall." He mutters angrily. "Stop thinkin' so much about him." A quote from one of his favorite films come to mind and it makes him feel so grim.

He who loves the most, regrets the most.

.............................

"Look how beautiful you look!" Anne helps her son with his tie, a smile on her face.

"Mum," Harry glances over at the cameraman then back at her, smiling down at her. "Thanks." He wonders whose brilliant idea was to film everything.

"Do you want me to tell him to leave?" She motions to the man filming their every move. "You seem uncomfortable, love." She adds quietly.

"I think I need a moment to myself." He says, ignoring his mother's frown. "Please." He begs her, he feels likes he's drowning.