To Begin Again (narry)

be miserable then

Harry couldn't look away from where he was told to stand, he couldn't seem to stop walking toward that spot. He doesn't even notice when Anne stops to ask him if he's okay. His heart is beating fast against his chest, his throat feels like it's closing up, it's getting harder to breathe.

"Love," Anne puts on a smile for the rest of the people to see but her eyes are filled with worry. "Talk to me."

He wants to rip off the tie to see if that helps him breathe easier, he feels like he's suffocating. A flash in the distant snaps him out of it, he realizes he's been standing in the middle of the isle for far too long. People are starting to whisper. He's starting to sweat, he hates the feeling of his clothes sticking to his body.

"Harry." Anne says a bit louder.

"I'm fine, sorry— I'm... okay." Harry clears his throat and blinks a couple times before plastering on a smile.

"Come on then, love." She gives his arm a light tug.

Harry lets out a choked laugh, he ignores everyone's eyes on him and doesn't look in the direction of the cameras. His eyes are once again glued to the spot he's supposed to stand. "We should probably keep walking."

Anne smiles and gives him a nod. "We're looking a bit silly aren't we, darling?"

They keep walking until they reach the front where the wedding officiate is waiting with a wide smile.

"Sad birds still sing." Anne whispers into his ear before pressing a kiss to his cheek and walking away to stand next to Gemma.

Harry stood there thinking over what his mother had  said, wondering if she knew. He glances over at her and sees the smile she's giving him and... of course she knows. He smiles back and turns his gaze over to Andrew, who's now walking down the isle. It's then when it really hits him.

...............................

Waking up cold, lonely and with an aching in your chest is something Niall never wishes upon anyone. Not even to his worst enemies.

He's laying in bed scared to turn the other way, he's not ready to see the empty spot yet, so he lays there in the verge of tears. He almost doesn't feel a warm hand press on his belly, he gasps and snaps his head to look over at the other side of the bed. He sees Harry staring back at him, a sad smile on his face.

"You're not going to kick me out, are you?" Harry watches him fully turn to face him, he's worried Niall regrets last night.

Niall stays silent as he still is processing everything, he snaps out of his stupor when he feels Harry's hand slip away. "No, course not." He reaches for Harry's hand. "I'd never kick you out."

Harry wants to kiss him so bad, he doesn't though. He knows there's a lot to talk about, and he doesn't want to make Niall uncomfortable. "Did you sleep well?" He asks instead of diving right into what needs to be said.

"I did," He now realizes how well rested he feels, hasn't felt this good in weeks. It almost annoys him. "You're not married." He says, grazing his thumb over where the ring should be.

He stares at Niall before glancing down at their hands. "No," He breathes out. "I'm not."

"What happened?" Niall asks, he has so many questions but he doesn't want to overwhelm Harry.

Harry flicks his eyes up to look him in the eye. "I couldn't marry someone who I didn't love, and I couldn't let the one I'm in love with go." He notices the way Niall shifts, then sits up completely. Harry follows his actions and leans his back on the headboard.