Finally Home

80. Jenna

Tyler and I sat with Sam after Josh and Debby took Rosie home.

How were we going to explain this to Sam? Tyler was taking this hard. Not because it was hard on him, but because he felt so deeply and hurt so terribly when either of our girls were sick or hurt. Rosie's first cold when she was four months old had him nearly frantic and wanting to rush her to the hospital whenever she sneezed.

Around six, Samantha started to stir.

"Mama?" Her small voice said as she came closer to wakefulness.

"Hi, baby," I said, sitting on her bed, smoothing down her hair and smiling at her as her eyes fluttered open.

"I don't feel good," she said.

"I know baby. You just had surgery. You're going to feel a little out of it for a while."

"Oh," she said simply, closing her eyes again. She dozed off again. I looked at Tyler. He had tears in his eyes.

"We have to tell her," he said.

"We will, Ty. We will. But not now. Not while she's barely aware. We have to let her wake up and be able to absorb what we have to tell her."

"She's going to be so upset. How are we going to tell her?" He asked.

"Gently. But we will tell her. And we'll remind her how much we love her and how hard we'll work to help her though this."

"Why Sam?" He asked me. "Why does all this terrible stuff keep happening to her? Is it something she did? Something we did? Did we save her from her father only to lose her literally piece by piece?"

"Tyler..." I said. But I wasn't sure where I was going with that. I'd asked myself the same question before. Why Sam? What reason could there be for one sweet, innocent child to endure everything she has in such a short period of time?

At eight o'clock, there was a knock on the door.

"Hello?" A voice said quietly. I turned around and standing in the doorway were Brendon and Sarah.

"What are you two doing here?" I asked, incredulously and getting up to hug them.

"Josh called us last night and told us about Sam. We got the first flight out that we could," Sarah said. "When it comes to Sam, very little will keep us away."

"Look at you, Mama," Brendon said, referencing my stomach. "Not much longer now, huh?"

"Couple more weeks, yup," I said. We'd found out we were having another girl. Tyler and Sam had celebrated with Instagram posts sharing the news. Rosie just wanted to know when the baby could play.

"On a more serious note, how are you all doing? How did the surgery go? Josh didn't say."

Tyler shook his head.

"They took her leg. They had to. Just above the knee," his voice shaking.

"Oh no!" Sarah said. Tears came to both their eyes. Of all our friends, all of whom loved Sam, Brendon and Sarah seemed to be the most involved. Maybe because they saw Jess in her. Maybe Sam was a substitute for them. Either way, from the time they'd come out to meet Sam they'd been so involved in her life.

"How'd she take the news?" Brendon asked.

"We haven't told her yet. She just barely woke up a couple of hours ago and didn't really wake up. If you know what I mean," I said. They nodded.

"We want to tell her when she's able to understand and absorb the news," Tyler said. "To be honest, I'd like to put it off as long as I can. I know we can't and shouldn't, but I'm not looking forward to it."

"I'd imagine not," Sarah said.

Brendon walked over to Sam's bedside and stood looking down at her. He put his hand on the blanket covering the empty space where her leg should have been. I saw his shoulders shake a little.

Sarah went over and put her arms around him. They looked at Sam for a few minutes before turning around to face us again.

Brendon sighed, his breath coming in shuddering breaths.

"Why her?" He asked, tears in his eyes.

"We were asking ourselves the same thing," I said.

Brendon and Sarah stayed for a little while longer. They were planning on staying with Debby and Josh, but we insisted they stay at our place. Especially since Josh and Debby were currently staying at our house with Rosie. They'd brought Jim to our place and said Rosie was having a ball chasing Jim around the back yard.

They went to the house around nine and Tyler and I were left to watch Samantha as she slept off the effects of the anaesthesia.

The nurses came in and changed I.V. bags, catheter bags, check on Sam's vitals, that she was getting enough oxygen through the cannula in her nose, and that her blood sugar wasn't getting too high or too low. It was still on the high side because of the stress on her body from the surgery.

The nurse also showed us a small bag coming off the stump of Sam's right leg. She explained to us it was called a Penrose drain and it was placed to drain the rest of the infected fluids in her remaining muscle. She said it wasn't permanent and would likely be taken out in a few days. They'd changed her antibiotic to one a little less strong that would target her infection properly and hopefully be less harsh on her stomach. A small comfort given what she was about to face.

Tyler and I tried to sleep a little, each of us taking turns. Neither of us got much sleep, dreading what the morning might bring. By morning, Sam should be over the effects of the anaesthesia and we would be forced to tell her the news.

Both of us were dreading it. We knew it had to be done. Obviously.

We tried to come up with the best way to tell her. Eventually, we just settled on the truth and breaking it to her very gently and directly.

It didn't improve our own moods in that regard.