Finally Home

82. Jenna

Samantha was miserable. When Brendon tried to come in, she threw a cup of water at the door. When he tried to come in again, she picked up the coffee cup on her tray, that thankfully was empty, and threw it at the door.

"Samantha!" I admonished her. As upset as she was, I was not going to tolerate her throwing things at people.

"Leave me alone," she muttered, pulling a pillow over her face. "Just leave me alone. Let me die."

"Samantha Joseph, we are not letting that happen. You're upset, and we understand that. But you are not going to start throwing things at people because you're upset."

She huffed at me.

Just then, the door opened and Rosie came running in.

"SaSa! I come help!" She shouted as she ran into Sam's room. Sam moved the pillow off her face.

"No! Rosie! Go away!" Samantha shouted at her.

Rosie stopped dead in her tracks and looked at Samantha, her bottom lip quivering. Samantha had never told her to go away. Samantha had never shouted at her.

"But, I be Sammy's nurse," Rosie said, her thumb coming up to her mouth.

"I don't need you to be my nurse. I don't want you to be my nurse! Go away!" Sam shouted at her.

Rosie started crying. Tyler, hearing the commotion, came into the room.

"Samantha Joseph!" He said, picking Rosie up.  "You can be mad. You can be as mad as you want. You can yell at us and throw water at your visitors, but you will not yell at or hurt your sister!"

Samantha looked at Tyler in shock. He had never raised his voice to her in anger. Only once did he raise his voice and that had been in warning, although that was when Samantha was still the terrified little girl who had landed in our backyard only a few days earlier, and who thought Tyler was mad that she'd broken a glass.

"Look, you feel bad, we get that. You're dealing with a huge change. We get that. You can take your fear and anger out on me and Mom, but you will absolutely not take it out on Rosie. She's little. She doesn't understand what's happening. All she knows is you are mad and sad but she doesn't know why. And you yelling at her is absolutely unacceptable at any time. You got that?"

Samantha nodded, then burst into tears.

"I'm sorry Rosie," she said, hiding her face in her pillow again.

"Is okay Sammy," Rosie said. "Why you so sad?"

Samantha just shook her head and cried. I put Rosie down and she walked over to Samantha's bed and climbed up. She curled up next to Samantha and put her tiny arms around her sister.

"Is okay Sammy. Is okay. Your boo-boo will get better. I help," she looked up at the pillow that was currently in place of Samantha's face. Sam shook her head.

"It's never going to be okay again, RosieRo," she mumbled into the pillow. Jenna moved and sat beside Sam on the bed again.

"Sam," she said, putting her arm around Samantha's shoulders. Samantha tried to shrug her off. Jenna persisted.

"Sam, things will be different. But that doesn't mean your life is over. You can still play basketball. It's just going to take more time."

"How can I play basketball? I'm missing a leg!" She cried.

"Where you leg go?" Rosie asked, looking where Sam's left leg was. She started picking up the blanket.

"No! Rosie, don't touch," Sam said, harshly at first, grabbing the blanket from Rosie. But her tone softened as she spoke.

Rosie looked at the spot where Sam's leg should have been.

"Where Sammy leg, Daddy?" She asked.

"Samantha had a very big boo-boo inside her leg." I said. "It was too big to fix and if they didn't Sammy could get very, very sick. So they had to cut off Sammy's leg to keep her healthy."

Rosie contemplated that. She frowned and looked at the spot again.

"Sammy?" She said, looking up at Sam's pillow, still covering her face.

"What?" Samantha mumbled.

"I love you," Rosie said. Samantha moved the pillow and looked at Rosie.

"What?" She asked.

"I love you. Because you pretty and smart and you play with me."

Samantha burst into tears again.

She hugged Rosie though.

"I can't play anymore!" She wailed.

"Yes you can, Sam," Jenna said. "It'll be different but you can still move around. You'll use crutches until your, um, stump heals. Then we can get you a prosthetic. They have amazing ones. You're going to have a lot of physio before you can go home and they'll tell you more."

Samantha shook her head.

"Sam, things are going to be different. Obviously, but your life doesn't end because your leg is gone," I said.

"It might as well. Now I'm just a huge burden."

"Samantha Joseph," I said. "We have told you from the very beginning, keeping you, and your siblings, healthy and safe is our number one priority. And we would happily go bankrupt doing that."

"There are people here who want to see you. Who love you and want to visit you. Can we let them in?"

Samantha shook her head.

I went out into the hallway.

"Hey guys," I said. "Sam's not up to visitors right now. I don't know if you want to stay and wait and see if she changes her mind, or head home and check in later?"

"We'll wait a bit," Brendon said.

I nodded and went back to Samantha.

"Your visitors really want to see you. They're outside and refusing to leave."

"I don't care," she said.

My heart broke. Samantha was so broken right now. She was in so much pain.