Broken Strings: Mark Sloan

Chapter 4

 a Panic attack happens in this chapter. I will put X's where it starts and Ends.

AN: I'm going to write in first person from now on.

Episode 5

A party is not what I need right now, but of course Izzie just had to impress her boyfriend. During one of my brief talks with Cristinia we had determined that this party is the result of terrible sex between the couple. What I needed was honestly just five minutes to actually get ready for this date, and to get my lovely sister to tell me about her boyfriend. It is getting to the point that I am hurt that she hasn't told me about him yet.

I just had to get to work and then I could put all of this stuff behind me for the day. Well until 8 o'clock when Dylan was picking me up. We had been texting and talking whenever he came into the shop, and I hate to admit it but I like him. I mean I hate the fact that I do because the thought of actually being in a relationship does not sound so great to me. I mean my family is so messed up, how am I supposed to explain that to someone, in what context do I bring up the Alzheimer's mother and no show of a dad.

I'm alone at the house, getting texts from Izzie asking me to get things ready for her. Do you think she understands I don't like her or is she just really oblivious? I ignore her looking through all of the financials that Meredith and I have been doing for the past month. While moving everything from Meredith's side of the table to mine, I somehow spilled my coffee all over the table. I rush to make sure that nothing gets damaged, when I find the check to Ellis's care facility. I only remember the last time I saw her because it was when I told her I was quitting. She didn't even tell me that she was sick, I had to hear from Meredith. She always did favor Midy, in her own twisted way.

It was time for me to visit her, put our difficulties behind and make up. Maybe luck will be on my side, and she won't remember me.

"Hello, I'm here to see Ellis Grey."

"Relation to the patient."

"Daughter."

"She is in the day room, just through those doors. You picked a good day to visit, she is doing well." The nurse said to me,

"Perfect, thank you." I can't do this, why did I think I could do this? Even when I was younger whenever we would have a conversation all I felt towards her was pure anger. Why did I think I would be able to do this, I should just turn around now? She hasn't seen me yet. I'm barely at the door, I can leave and the only person that would know would be the nurse. But I see her now, she looks different, frail, not the woman that I know.

"Hello Ellis."

"Greta is that you."

"Yes, it is, I just wanted to see how you were doing"
"Well, I'm fine. How is your intern year, I know you are Seattle Grace, my old stomping ground so to speak?" I had to tell her, didn't I? I can't just act like I'm a budding surgeon for however long.

"Mom I'm sorry to tell you this again, but I quit half way through my fifth year."

"What are you talking about? You are in your intern year."

"No, I'm not, Meredith is, she is also at Seattle Grace. She is doing great from what I have heard."

"Why?"

"What, why what?"

"Why did you quit? I knew you wouldn't be able to take the pressure you were always so sensitive as a child and could never be critiqued."

"It wasn't the pressure, I enjoyed the pressure, in fact I was top of my class by a wide margin. It was easy, I thought that if it was so easy, I should be happy, but no I was miserable. Even more miserable than when I lived with you. So, I thought to myself what mom would think of me, I was already extraordinary, I just wanted to be ordinary at something. I just wanted to do something that I actually loved and didn't inherit. So, I bought a flower shop that an old lady was selling down the street from the hospital and I have been the owner ever since. Also, I was sensitive and did not respond to criticism because I was 12, most 12 year old's aren't quizzed on what surgery mommy is about to do while they watch over their little sister. Most 12 year old's aren't scolded when they mess up on a make-believe surgery." That felt even better the second time.