Wreaking Havoc

quattuor

If for other people a week just passes by in a hurdle, during Eli's finals, I thought it was going to last forever—I'm sure this was how Eli felt all throughout the week that we could barely talk because I was so busy with our finals, so I really made it to a point that I'd really see him before the end of our finals. First-year was much more bearable because we could even go on dates even though we had finals, but this time... it's really different because we didn't have much time on our plate. Yet here we are and people are still asking us how we're capable of keeping this relationship together when we both know we're busy individuals.

Simple—understanding that their world doesn't always revolve around you. That's just how I put it, it's not really rocket science. You just really have to respect their time. Besides, I know how much of a hustle we need in order just to graduate on time because not everyone can do that, and we're always reminded of it.

But God if I was still in college and I was still that immature Therese who'd want nothing but someone's attention—then I guess I would've called it quits with Elias already because that's how I grew up—people in our house (well, except my parents) were always attentive whenever I'd ask them to do something for me, and maybe that's why I demanded attention from other people—because I couldn't even get that from my parents.  

But with Eli, he made me realize that when you're in a relationship with someone who's still chasing after a dream, you'd always understand them when they prioritize their dreams first—because even when I was busy in the first few months of our relationship, and he knew how I was struggling with my acads and my family—he just told me he understood and I could take my time because he wouldn't leave.

And that's when it hit me.

God this guy loves me.

With Eli, I was never afraid that we wouldn't talk for the whole day because he never made me feel scared. He's always been my safe space and he always made me feel secure.

I really want to marry this guy.

Kaya rin siguro na-meet ko si Eli during our last semester in college, pampalubag-loob na rin siguro—transition era ko na kasi na-realize ko adulting na pala talaga ako, kasi kung hindi, ngayon pa lang nanghihinayang na'ko kasi I know how immature I was in High School and my first two years in college... maybe because I grew up in an environment where I didn't care about others because my parents weren't there during my rough patches.

I had parents but still, it felt like I grew up alone.

But Eli was kind... he was kind enough to understand me and let me understand things. I was going through a lot, but he was there yet he never tolerated me when he knew I was doing something wrong. Maybe that's why he came into my life because he's my balance and check... because as much as I didn't want to end up spoiled, maybe if there was no one beside me to tell me that I'm wrong, I'd really end up that way.

By then I realized, he'd be my constant.

Eli's university was an hour away from my condo so I had to leave early just so I could prepare. The past few days, I realized Eli has been surprising me and I also wanted to do something for him because I know how stressful Law school is, too, considering that some of my cousins are in Law school and they probably wouldn't survive that if they didn't have connections. 

Because of that, I realized how hard it is for Eli because he never had connections and backers unlike some people in their blocks—although he admitted to me that it would've been nice to know the coverage of quizzes and recits in advance; still, he has always stood his ground that he'd work hard for it on his own. He even told me how students in his school were donating everything they could just to pass a semester, or find a way to have copies of previous exams because some professors don't revise their examinations and use them as is, and I was horrified because these people are literally future lawyers or people who'd run for seats in the government!