Wreaking Havoc

trīgintā ūnus

TRIGGER WARNING

Details of abuse.

**

"Therese, I'm sorry..." Eli uttered, pulling me closer to him and hugging me tightly. "God, I'm sorry... I'm really sorry."

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from sobbing pero kahit ano'ng gawin ko, hindi ko pa rin mapigilang mapahagulgol. I felt Eli's hand on the back of my head habang hinahagod iyon... Ramdam ko ang panginginig ng mga balikat ni Eli, hanggang sa maramdaman ko rin ang pagtulo ng luha niya. I wanted to stop myself from crying... I knew it wasn't going to help with what I just heard, nor it was going to bring back Mary from her grave...

But it felt... painful hearing the truth... Who would even threaten my daughter that gravely that she ended up killing herself?

God...

She was just eleven!

Bakit niya gagawin 'yun?

"Eli..." I trailed, pulling away from the hug. He looked at me intently as he wiped away the tears from my face. It suddenly felt like I was seeing my Eli... "D-do you know who did that to Mary? To our daughter?"

Eli paused for a while and sighed before he nodded dahilan para mapapikit ako. My legs felt weak at naramdaman ni Eli na kaunti na lang ay babagsak na'ko kaya mabilis niya akong inalalayan para makaupo. Tahimik lang ako habang nakatulala sa dingding... Ni hindi ko alam kung dapat ko bang paniwalaan 'yung mga nangyayari.

"Uminom ka muna," sambit ni Eli at inabutan ako ng isang baso ng tubig na agad ko namang inabot, but my hands were shaking so badly kaya hindi iyon binitiwan ni Eli at tinulungan akong makainom nang maayos. "Do you want to talk to Isla? Astrid said they had to head straight to her psychiatrist after she was released."

I let out a sigh and looked at Eli.

"Are you sure you're telling the truth?"

Eli sat beside me and held my hand, "Alam ko masakit, Therese... When I heard about the second opinion regarding Mary's after I reviewed Daniela Quizon's case, ayaw ko ring maniwala no'ng una... Kasi bakit naman gagawin ni Mary 'yun?" sambit niya at napatigil saglit bago tumingin sa mga mata ko.

Napapikit ako nang mariin, "Maybe... Maybe she's trying to hide something from me? So she resorted to that way..." I uttered, letting the tears fall down from my eyes. Napatakip na lang ako ng mukha nang ma-realize ko 'yung pagkakamali ko... Na baka matagal nang nagsa-suffer si Mary katulad ni Isla at hindi niya lang din masabi sa'kin... I was practically living my life in the hospital dahil akala ko masaya si Mary... Dahil akala ko okay siya...

Pa'no kung hindi pala siya masaya?

Pa'no kung sa kakaabot ko ng pangarap ko... ilang beses na pala akong sinubukang kausapin ni Mary na hindi na siya okay pero hindi ko 'yun pinansin?

"Kasalanan ko... Kasalanan ko, Eli. I should've always been there for her..."

I felt Eli pulling me closer to him as he puts his arms around my shoulder, gently caressing it like how he always does whenever I was sad... as if telling me he's never forgotten how to pacify me.

"It's not your fault," he whispered.

"But I should have been there..."

Eli held my hand from my face and held both of them tightly, shaking his head, "We'll set everything right from now on."

I remained mum.

"Please trust me, Therese..."

I looked into his eyes... I know how hurt he was after everything that has happened. I was the one who was unfair... I was the one who left, but why was he asking me to trust him? It should've been me who should be asking him that question...