𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐄 ( 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎 )

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐖𝐎

- BRIELLE

"i haven't been in here in forever," i said as i took a look around ross' room. it looked almost the exact same besides some new posters and medals.

"yeah i know." ross sighed as he looked down and put his hands in his pocket. "it's my fault."

i walked over to ross' bed and sat on it. "don't say that. we just grew up a bit."

"i guess so but we could've grown up together if i was a bit more honest," ross responded as sat next to me. 

i turned my body around to fully face ross as a confused look plastered itself on my face. "what do you mean?"

"i think i need to start at the beginning of high school because that's where things started to change," ross told me as he turned to face me too. i nodded to let him know i was listening. "we've been best friends forever up until high school and i never wanted to stop that. we were the closest and everyone knew that. especially the football team."

"what did the football team have to do with it?" i asked as ross' eyes dropped from mine. ross took a deep breath and shut his eyes. whatever was on his mind was really killing him. that was his nervous breath.

"the football team had a big influence on me. i felt peer pressured by them a lot and took everything them said so seriously." ross shifted uncomfortably as he looked up at me. "one of the things we talked about a lot were girls. you were a hot topic."

i looked away from ross. "what did they say?" i asked. even though i really did not want to know the answer.

"they would say things like "all guys secretly want to date their girl best friend". then when i would say i'm not like that, they'd say "how could you not. she's so bad." i really never felt that way about you so i pushed you away. their assumptions and stereotypes made me stop being friends with you." i looked back up at ross and this time he didn't break eye contact. "then that got me thinking because they were right. how could i not want you? you are the most beautiful girl i know."

i bit my lip and opened my mouth to respond, but ross laughed softly.

"calm down bendy. let me finish." ross patted my knee. "for a long time, i thought something was wrong with me. why wasn't i into the way all the other guys were? i don't know how many nights i cried but if my tears were collected, i'd have a river."

a light bulb went off in my head. i finally got what ross was trying to hint at and a small smile painted itself on my face. i didn't speak though because i could tell ross had more to say.

"bri you're the first person i'm telling this but i thought the reason i never caught feelings for you was simply that we were best friends. i was going to die at the cliff preaching those words. but in the end, it was really because i liked guys. because i was gay," ross said as he looked at me with his eyes tearing up a bit.

it all made sense now. i think i always had an inkling. ross had never had a crush on any girl growing up. he said he had high standards because he had a girl best friend (me) who treated him like a king already. i obviously wasn't gonna say that because that was going to take away from his moment.

"ross, i'm really glad you told me." my eyes were tearing up too so i wrapped ross in a hug. "i still love you so much no matter what happened between us. i am so proud of how far you've come."

ross laughed and i could feel his tears dripping onto my shirt. i didn't care because mine were on his too. we pulled away and we had the stupidest grins on each other's faces. "i missed you so fucking much bri. i was just scared of being judged by everyone. like what would they think if one of their best athletes was gay? i didn't want to go through that and i'm sorry that i didn't tell you."

i reached up to wipe the tears off ross' face and i grabbed his hands. "you don't have to say sorry. you weren't ready to tell me or anyone else and that's okay. you don't have to tell anyone else if you don't want to either. it's your journey and your life. you are still the same ross as you've always been. this is not gonna stop me from being there for you always."

"for a long time i didn't think being gay was a possibility because i still loved sports and everything a straight guy would like... just not girls. obviously." ross squeezed my hand and looked down at our hands. he laughed. "you know i used to like your brother? he was my first crush. i tried to push it away by saying i was just appreciating his beauty because he looked like you. what a bullshit excuse."

i giggled at that and shook my head at ross. he always knew how to any heartfelt moment lighter. "thank you for trusting me with this."

"you're still my best friend in the whole world. i felt like you had to be the first person to know," ross told me as he smiled up at me. i pulled him in for another hug and rubbed circles around his back. we pulled away and i smirked at him mischievously.

"i've seen the way you've been eyeing up nick," i said as i raised one eyebrow. ross laughed and shook his head. i knew that this was what he needed right now.

"shush!"

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

after ross and i wrapped up our talk, we went back downstairs to his party. he had his arm wrapped around my waist and mine was around his neck. i'll admit that it would look like we just got done hooking up, but that obviously wasn't the case. besides, it wasn't unusual for ross and i to be this close back in middle school.

i wasn't really thinking about what anyone was thinking until i looked over at the couch that chris was sitting in. i noticed that alex was no longer sitting with him and his hat was off. i didn't want to admit it but he looked good.

he was laughing at something delilah said and for the first time in a long time, i just took in the way he looked. the way his smile came out while he laughed and the way his hair splayed over his eyes made it hard for me to not just walk over to him, drag him out of the house, and make him talk to me. i didn't get enjoy the view for long though.

as soon as chris made eye contact with me, his demeanor changed. if looks could kill, chris would be responsive for my death. i watched as he rolled his eyes, stood up, and walked off out of my view.

for someone who didn't like me and didn't want to talk, he was really acting like an asshole.

matt and delilah watched as he walked out of the room and then turned to see what made chris switch up like that. when they saw ross and i, it looked like they were mixed emotions. instead of going up to them and asking, i went with ross to the backyard.

tonight was his night and i didn't need chris ruining it.

VAL SPEAKS

i think you guys owe ross an apology.