𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐄 ( 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎 )

𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐖𝐎

- CHRIS

why did brielle have to have to show up? i wasn't ready to face her yet. i wasn't ready to face the fact that we had to be done. not only was it that she cheated on me, but it was also that i wasted so much time on her.

i didn't want to waste any more time on her but it was impossible to do that. everything i did was always for, or because of her. she was in every corner of my life and we hadn't even been together long.

all because of this crush, little 5-year-old me decided to come up with. a girl i fell in love with at age 5 was practically ruining my life. god, i'm so fucking pathetic.

i was so pathetic that i ran away from her. instead of just telling her what i saw, i ran from her and said a bunch of shit i didn't mean. the running wasn't worth it. i should've just let her explain.

but i was justified right? i know what i saw. there wasn't much explanation for something like that. right?

fuck me.

i sighed as i stood up from my table at the local panera. i had been sitting there for a while after only ordering a drink. i kinda felt bad for the workers. a moody teenager walks in and sits there for however long and only gets a drink.

real mature of me. i know.

i walked out of the panera as the california breeze hit my face and blew my hair over my eyes. for the quickest of moments, i wished brielle was there to fix my hair. she always took any opportunity she had to do something with my hair and i always let her. the smile on her face while doing it was worth me looking like cindy lou at the end of it.

remembering brielle and i weren't on the best of terms, i ran a hand through my hair and grabbed my phone out of my pocket. i swiped up on my do not disturb window and saw a bunch of notifications.

texts from my brothers, instagram post notifications, and most prominently, texts from brielle. i didn't even bother checking them. i shut my phone back off and shoved it back into my pocket. i began to walk again.

classic me. always walking away from any type of confrontation. and to think i was getting better at it. whatever. who was going to stop from being a pussy? no one.

i decided i didn't want to go home. i was afraid brielle would be there, so i decided to walk to the park across the street. i stuffed my hands into my pocket as i dragged my feet across the pavement.

another breeze blew across my face and i was suddenly glad i decided to wear sweatpants instead of shorts. it was summer, but the clouds in the sky told me rain was on the way. i only needed to kill a little more time out here anyway. brielle couldn't stay at the house forever.

i got to the park and the first thing my eyes set on was the deserted soccer ball sitting next to the swing set. of fucking course. everywhere i went there was a reminder of brielle. she was associated with everything and anything.

hell, i could see a water bottle cap and still find a way to make it about her.

i turned away from the soccer ball and started to walk further into the park. i wanted to find somewhere to sit and listen to music. music was probably the only thing that could make me feel better in the moment. unfortunately for me though, i associated so many songs with brielle.

rookie mistake from me. i associated some of my favorite songs with her. i would now never be able to listen to them the same. never be able to listen to them without seeing her face.

why the fuck am i so dramatic? i don't even know myself anymore. all because i'm going insane over brielle bender. i swear, i wasn't this sappy before she broke my fucking heart.