¶𝗥𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝗕𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗼𝗺 [H.S]

1.6

The ride I had that night felt like a lull before the storm. It was so peaceful, yet my heartbeat was going wild. I had the girl I wanted curling to my side with her sweet scent filling my system. She perhaps wasn't mine, but it felt like she was. And for those thirty minutes, I felt at stability. Since I got those drugs, I wanted to use them for the first time. To make the most of this moment, to step over my limit and make her see me. And when I'm not ready to take it, I have it in my hands. And when I don't have it in me anymore, I'm willing to do it. Why do I have to be like that? Want something when I don't have it anymore? Dress like a whore just to be found attractive. Lie so I can have what was supposed to be the time of my life. And even though that supposedly had to make me feel better about myself, I wasn't.

''I'd be around if you want to leave,'' Zayn spoke for the first time since his heartwarming joke. 

We had arrived at another expensive-looking house with a line of parked cars in its alleyway. The music became audible when we were at a space of fifty feet from the mansion, and now, standing in front of it, I wasn't even surprised. It was loud, and I was getting worried my ears would be ringing for a whole month from now. Luminous lights were reflecting outside from the big windows. And I just realized I haven't been to this big of a party in a while. Aiden's birthday party had fifty maximum seventy people, and I assumed there were at least three times the amount.

As Aiden headed to the two girls standing at the front door, I watched Zayn, who was walking away from us, as I followed her. And before I could figure out where he was going, he was out of my sight. Turning my head toward Aiden, who was now hugging two girls, I couldn't help but think - why didn't this man just go through the front entry but choose to go around the house?

Reaching for my hand, she turned me to face a brunette around our age or so. ''Molly, that's Paris,'' she pointed at her with a wide smile. I nodded politely at her before furrowing my brows as Aiden let go of my hand.

Instead of mine, she went for the blonde's hand, making her spin. The other girl laughed as her barbie hair flew around for an instant. ''And this pretty face is Dove!'' she introduced, taking her hand over her shoulder and hugging the side of her waist.

They seemed really cool. Maybe even too cool. It Might as well have been the explanation to why I said what I said and tried to act cool. But in my defense, all the girls had extraordinarily cool names! And I have never ever heard someone named after a type of bird, and well, it could've easily been a nickname and not her actual name.

''What, does she have an alter ego called something else?''

Silence. 

Dead silence was all that came after my remark. They didn't say anything else as all the smiles faded away, and they all looked confused. Aiden was the only one that kept on a smile but maybe it was because she cringed so hard that she couldn't manage to react differently. I didn't intend to make fun of her name or anything. I just found it funny, and I thought there was a possibility for a decent joke.

''And who are you again?'' the brunette spoke with hands crossed over her very exposed chest.

I opened my mouth to apologize though nothing came out. Jesus, I felt so uncomfortable after this. There was no chance they would change their minds and like me after the failure of a stunt I made.

''Um, I told you about Melanie, remember?'' Aiden's voice brought me back to reality. She let go of Dove and came by my side as I got my hands off myself. ''Her father is Christopher O'Coyle,'' she added when the two girls made sure we saw how clueless they were.

Keeping the tears from surfacing was starting to get hard as I bit the inside of my cheek to distract myself from the mental pain with physical. Why did she feel the need to put my dad under the spotlight? Was I so pathetic that nobody really knew who I was? Who knows, I might have partied with them when I was under the influence, and now they just pretended like they didn't know me? They could've at least laughed at my attempt to joke. I know it wasn't the greatest one, but they could've faked it. Just like I pretended that they didn't look cheaper than the obvious wig Dove had on. And you know what? Fuck them. Fuck that party. And fuck all the effort I made so I could come here!