The Epilogue - Katniss and Peeta

Safe.

*Katniss's POV*

I had 4 nightmares last night. All of which I woke up screaming, but Peeta didn't come to save me. He didn't hold me, he didn't comfort me, and neither did he care. I wish he had, but he just can't see past his thoughts of hurting me. I want everything to go back to normal—I want him to want me again.

As the sun begins to peek through the blinds, I reluctantly stand up. I can't see a reason to stay in bed if the one thing I want isn't there. There's no point to sulk in my misery, and there's definitely no point in feeling bad for myself. Feeling bad for myself would mean that I'm the victim, and in reality, he is. He's the one that was ruined because of me—he was ruined because I was associated with him.

As I bring myself out of my thoughts, I meet the staircase. I take the steps one at a time, and I try to be as quiet as possible, due to my hearing of movement in the kitchen. As I round the corner, I see him cooking something, and I make myself known.

"You're up early." I remark, walking to the island as I watch as he faces the stove.
"I couldn't sleep." He says quietly, and I long for him to talk to me more. I miss him so much, and it's like I'm a stranger once again. "Would you like some?" He asks, spinning around, but he freezes once he sees me.

I stand there, confused on why he's frozen, but then I realize what I'm wearing. I look down at my oversized sweater, that so conveniently has an oversized neckline, which perfectly showcases the bruises strung along my neck.

"I'm so sorry—" he starts frantically, spinning back around to put the pan back on the stove. He avoids eye contact with me as he moves around the island, and I follow him towards the door.
"You can't leave over a small thing like this—I mean it doesn't even hurt and these things happen—" I remark ,trembling as he stares at my neck. "Please, Peeta." He turns his back to me and opens the door, moving through it as quickly as he can.

I follow after him, but I only make it a few feet before I'm overcome by a dizziness. My vision begins to black out, and I quickly sit down before I fall. Just as I'm watching him walk through the gate, my vision turns completely black and I fall backwards, hitting my head on a rock.

_

When I wake up, I find that I'm lying on the couch. I blink a few times before I notice that something is in my forehead, and I slowly reach up to feel a damp washcloth on my forehead. I try to sit up, but as soon as I do, I'm overcome with the same dizziness as I had outside. I lean backwards again, and I feel a sharp pain in the back of my head. I wince at the pain and a tear streams down my face, but I'm startled by the feeling of a hand on my cheek, wiping that tear away.

"Peeta?" I ask quietly, refusing to open my eyes again.
"Yes," he says shortly, and I can tell he's worried. "Katniss, when's the last time you ate?"
"I don't know." I mumble, holding the washcloth to my head. His hand falls away from my face, and I wait in a moment of silence.

"Haymitch found you lying in the middle of the courtyard." He says, taking the washcloth from out of my hands. He then replaces it with a new one, and the coldness of the cloth makes me feel better. "He said you were bleeding."
"I think I hit my head when I fell backwards," I remark. "It sure feels like I did."
"You need to eat," he starts, pulling a blanket overtop of me. "That's why you feel like this."
"I don't feel hungry." I protest, and I try to open my eyes again.

I watch as he looks at me, and his face shows emotions that I can't describe. I watch as he looks away for a moment, clenching his jaw as he does so. I tried to read his expression, but I fail.

"Why are you here?" I ask, as his eyes move back towards me. "I mean, you practically ran out of here."
"Because I care," he admits. He looks down at the floor and he stares at his hands. "Even though I know I shouldn't."

At first, this statement hurts me, because it seems as if he's talking about not wanting me. But then I realize that he's talking about my neck, and how he hurt me.

"I want you to care." I say, beginning to sit up slightly. I take the washcloth off of my forehead and I hold it in my hand. "We have been through so much together, and yet you're throwing it all away because of one accident?"
"That accident never should have occurred, Katniss." He starts, and I watch as he shakes his head.
"This isn't fair to me." I remark, tears filling my eyes. "Why can't you just stay?" My voice breaks when I ask this, and he immediately looks up at me.

"I'm sorry." He says, and he stands up before sitting down beside me. He pulls me into his arms, and for the first time in a long time, I feel less alone. "I'm so sorry, for everything. I shouldn't have treated you so poorly over my mistake."
"Promise me that if this happens again, you'll stay." I say, looking up at him. "Promise me."
"Okay," he reassures me. "I promise."

I lean into him before closing my eyes once more, and I take it in. I take in the warmth of his embrace, and I treasure how I feel. Knowing that this can all go away in the blink of an eye is terrifying, and I now realize how far I'll go to avoid losing him.

I don't ever want to lose the boy with the bread again.