The Epilogue - Katniss and Peeta

Going Home.

*Katniss's POV*

I gasp as I wake up. It's all white around me and it's like I can't feel my arms. I start panicking, trying to struggle out of the cords that surround me, but I see a tall figure move towards me.

"You're alright, Katniss. You won't be able to feel your arms, they're numb from the stitches." Peeta says in a soothing voice. I look around rapidly and try to sit up. I feel his hands guide me back down as he sits on the edge of my hospital bed. "You'll be okay, darling."
"I—" I scratch out of my throat. "I don't remember what happened." I say quietly. He gives me a look then glances out the window.
"You died." He mumbles. "You really died."

I died?
How?
When?
I have so many questions. I search his face for answers and he sighs.

"I was getting a canvas and paint for Rye, he wanted to paint you a picture. I went into the art room to grab the supplies when I noticed he was gone. I thought he had left to use the bathroom. All of a sudden, I heard this ear-piercing scream. I thought that maybe he had fell or something. I rushed up the stairs and found all the doors closed except ours, which I heard you close earlier, so I knew it was something with you. I walked in to find Rye crying on the floor and his hands on your forehead—which was resting on the edge of the bed. I turned and saw blood everywhere." He pauses, and I can see the tears forming in his eyes.

Oh.
Oh.

"Rye was hysterical; asking me why you wouldn't wake up. And then I saw it; I never had thought about it. I knew you kept it in there to feel safe, incase someone had came in throughout the night. I felt guilty for not thinking about it. I felt like it was all my fault because I set you off that morning. I blamed myself, thinking that maybe if I hadn't of said that one word, that you might have been alive." His face shows a look I've never seen before. It's horrifying. "You died in my arms, Katniss." He turns away and I hear him sniff. He looks down and I watch as the tear rolls of his face.

"I—," he pauses and wipes another tear. "I told Rye to grab some towels from the bathroom but he wouldn't leave your side. He stayed there, rubbing your forehead like you always do to him while he is sick. I had asked him to try and hold your arms up while I ran and grabbed the towels. I came back and tried to stop the bleeding but there was just so much. I left Rye there and called Haymitch, begging him to come over here and to be quick at it. He hesitated at first but once I mentioned your name he was there within a minute. He was horrified. He went downstairs and called Paylor, asking her to send the aircraft. He had me stay home while the medics took you away. He knew I was upset, and waited with me until Willow got home. Willow and Flynn were," he stops and looks down.

"I told them you were in the hospital and they begged to come see you. I told them it was too early and we needed word before they could come. They haven't been the same since you left."

I close my eyes to prevent the tears to flow down my face. But one by one, they seep out. "I'm so sorry." I sob before he puts his hand on mine. He begins to rub my hand while I cry. "I'm so sorry."

"Rye's been placed in therapy. I know you don't like the idea but it's what's best for him. He's only 6 yet he watched his mother die." He says quietly. I nod and breathe in deeply.

I think and sigh. "I've ruined him, haven't I? I've ruined all of them." Peeta just watches his thumb circle my hand.
"You haven't ruined them." He sighs and looks away from a moment. "They need you, Katniss. Every single one of those kids need you. They need you in their lives, not six feet under." He remarks.

Why did I do this? Why did I do this? Why did I do this?

I look down but a sudden knock on my door startles me. The doctor comes in and gestures for Peeta to speak with him. Peeta gets up and walks over to him. They talk for a moment and then Peeta leaves, and I'm left alone.