The Epilogue - Katniss and Peeta

Meeting Eloise.

*Katniss's POV*
I stumble up the stairs and into our room to get dressed for the day. I grab whatever I can find in my dresser and comb through my hair. It's a matted, tangled mess—and it takes 10 minutes to brush through it all. I throw it into a loose braid down my back. I look in the mirror and I don't see myself. I try to hide it, but it's not fooling anyone. I may look like "a victor" but I'm sure not acting like it. Katniss Everdeen was a victor, the leader of a revolution—but it's not me anymore. Now I cry over the smallest things; which pains me, because I hate crying.

I need to get out of my own head.

I set the brush down on the dresser top and head back downstairs. I walk back into the kitchen to find Rye drawing at the table.

"Hey, buddy." I say kissing him on the top of his head.
"Hey, Mama." He smiles. "Are you excited for Flynn's friend to come over?"
"I am," I smile; while walking towards Peeta. I stop beside him while taking a deep breath.

"Are you alright?" He asks quietly, turning to make sure Rye can't hear. I look towards him and see his face looks tense.
"I'm fine," I say reassuringly. "Just worried about tonight."
"Don't worry about it," he says. "You can't mess up anything." I nod and look away towards the window. I see the fountain and how it glistens in the sunlight.
"It's almost time for them to get home." I mumble. I wish it was still early in the morning.

I wish I could put this off, save it for another day. But I can't.

"Here," Peeta says taking my hand. I follow him through the front door and we sit down on the porch swing. Rye follows us out and plays in the yard. "You really shouldn't be worrying, Katniss."
"But what if—" I start but he cuts me off.
"Stop, darling." He says rubbing my hand. "I don't want you to worry about possibilities anymore, they won't happen." I look up to his face and his expression is stern.
"I'm sorry." I say looking into his eyes. I didn't mean to make him frustrated. I notice his gaze softens when he realizes I'm upset. He brushes the hair off my face and I lay my head down. I watch as Rye sits on the edge of the fountain, playing in the water. I'd love to be as peaceful as him, having no worries in the world.

"Can I ask one more hypothetical question?" I say quietly.
"I'll allow it," he remarks sarcastically.
"What if Gale comes back?" I ask. He starts to play with my hair and sighs. Technically, it's a very possible possibility; he can't be mad that I asked it.
"If he does, I'll be here. I'm sure he wouldn't touch you if he knew someone was near. But he was your friend, darling. Maybe he made a mistake, or maybe he's trying to fix it." I nod and watch Rye when I feel circles on my lower back. I count as they go around.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

"What does he say when he visits you?" I ask, still counting the circles.

I remember the times in the forest, where we used to be so close. I wish it could've stayed like that, but unfortunately, he made the decision that resulted in my sister's death. There's no way I will ever forgive him for that choice. Even if he truly didn't mean to kill her.

"Just that he'd like to talk to you." He says, which brings me back to reality. "He doesn't sound threatening, more civilized." I nod my head and rest my eyes. The circle has gone around 9 times, yet I can't shut my brain off. I can't help but think of all the things that could go wrong, and none seem to have any chance of going right.

_

I hear someone rush up the steps and I open my eyes to find Rye smiling near my face. I smile back at him and watch as his face lights up with excitement.

"Look," he points with excitement. "They're home!" I look down the road to see Willow, Flynn, and his friend walking along the path. I sit up and try to tame my messy braid. I can't look like the mess that I am. I have to mask it, mask the pain, mask the miserable life I live.
"You look fine," Peeta says to me. "Beautiful as always." I turn around and fake a smile, but on the inside I'm a wreck. I watch as they walk through the gate and up the stairs. Maybe I'm dreaming and this isn't happening and I'm not about to ruin a kid I don't even know.