feeling his presence, every second ♡︎

-13-

Ben and I hadn't seen each other all day which was weird for us. We texted but he was in a few directoral meetings. I was in my tub, again. It was currently time to relax after the long day I had. I went to the mall with Leah, Her mom Vicky and my mom. Imagine how exhausted I am. Between Leah's annoyingness (which I love) and our moms endless conversations about people we all hate: I need a bath and a nap with my hopefully soon to be fiance. I truly couldn't wait anymore, we had been together for about a year now and I was extremely sure about a future with MY Ben.

As if on cue, he walked and came straight towards the tub. "Hi, my love." My focus got lost and I wasn't looking at him but when I did; he got down on one on knee and pulled out a ring. I was smiling and crying like crazy. It had finally happened. "Jennifer, I have loved you for 20 years and I spent 17 of those years regretting the day I lost you. I don't want to regret that anymore. You are my future, Jen. Will you marry me?" He said so much more before asking me to marry him. All the things he said made my heart melt.

"Yes! Yes! Of course!" I said in between tears. That was the easiest yes I have ever said. I got up and stood up in the tub, hugging and kissing my fiance.

After that we went to my bed. I was laying on his chest as I traced my finger on the monogrammed tattoo he got with our initials. "I really love this tattoo, baby. You did a great job when you thought about it." There was nothing but truth in that sentence. His tattoos normally had too much color and some were really extra but this one was THE ONE.

"You only like it because it has you involved in it and its black." He laughed. "Listen baby, you aren't completely wrong but-" It may seem like nothing to you but to me, this was a funny and memorable moment. Considering we lost this for 17 years."Do you think I should get one too?"

"If you want to get one, we can go but this would be your first tattoo, are you sure that's something you want?" This was the first time I had ever disagreed with him. I love the idea of having it and I want it really bad. "Yeah, it's what I want. But I'm not sure if I should get it now."

"We can start with a temporary one, then if you like the placement, we can get it permanent." Listen, all I'm gonna say is that the little things matter. He made sure to take care of everything I needed and never took our love for granted.

After a few hours of watching a show, I fell asleep in his arms.

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Time flies right? Ben and I had been talking different weddings we would like to have. Destination Wedding? That wouldn't be too bad. Classic Wedding? Nope. I want what we have to be special. Ben and I both agreed on that. DIY Wedding? No.. What? Never.

My husband was in his office typing on his computer when I walked in. " Hi, baby." I'm still so surprised everytime I realize that Ben Affleck is going to be my husband. To me, He's been my husband since the moment we got back together but this just confirmed it. "Hey, Let's get married." He said as he wrapped his arms around my body. Was I hearing right?

"What?" I'm almost positive I was hearing wrong. We had been talking about a ceremony and the whole thing weddings consist of. "Let's get married, today." Maybe I wasn't misinterpreting what he was saying. "Let's fly out to Vegas, Take my last name and we can put it where your name is." This sounded extremely familiar to me but I can't put my finger on it. "Why do I feel like I know that from somewhere?" He had then realized that I had not caught on so he did a corny dance and sang along to Marry Me. "Have they ever seen a love this famous? They never no ,they never."

It was the corniest thing I have ever seen but I quite literally love that about him. "Yes, Ben. I'll marry you today. Matter of fact I'll marry you right now." I said between laughter.

He then proceeded to carry me throughout the entire house until we got to my room which was probably going to be ours tomorrow.

I started packing immediately and making calls. To Chris, Stevie, Marc, Elaine, Benny, My stylist, My hair and makeup crew, Beezy, Ben's Mom, My mom, My dad, My sisters.

The list goes on.  After I was all packed I told the kids to pack. By kids I meant Emme and Sera. Vi and Sam were at some parade with their mom and Marc and my mom was with Max in Florida to visit some family.

The first questions we got were "Jennifer why couldn't you wait till we could all be there?" From my father. "What the hell do you mean your getting married?" That came from all of our friends. There were so many questions, to which we had answers too thankfully.

I explained to everyone that we would be doing a ceremony with family and friends too. This was a huge relief to them. I was extremely bummed out that 3 of our kids couldn't come with us. I know how huge Ben's kids' approval is to him , just like My kids' approval is to me.  But here we go.

In no time we headed to the private airstream. The smile on Ben's face never dimmed out which was such a beautiful sight to me. I had taken a shower back at the house and I put on a white dress from my closet that I had been saving for years. I never thought that I was going to wear it the day I was marrying Ben Affleck though.

Young Jenn would be so proud. We hopped on our plane to Las Vegas.

I looked out the window the whole ride as Ben held my hand. He occasionally kissed it making me feel so lucky.

When we landed, we all headed to the Little White Chapel where we got ready. Ben changed in the bathroom while I changed in the actual changing room. My hair and makeup had already been done  by the Glam Squad earlier today.

When Ben finally saw me, I could tell he was surprised as the tears flowed from his eyes. This really surprised me considering Ben isn't really an emotional man but I guess I brought it out in him like he did with me.

As the priest started talking, I watched our kids look at us; smiling and also crying.

"I knew this would happen, Cy."

This was probably one of the most heartfelt moments I've ever seen. In this moment, I couldn't be happier.