Jennie was awakened by sunlight streaming in through the hotel room window. She rolled over and looked at the clock radio on the bedside table. 8:11 AM. It was morning. Which meant she'd slept all night, undisturbed. Which meant Lisa hadn't even bothered to call and check up on her. What a douchebag.
That settled it. This trip was a mistake. Jennie was getting on the first plane out of LAX and heading straight back to her nice comfy little apartment and her nice comfy little job and her nice comfy little life where she belonged. Lisa could go have fun with all the swimsuit models she wanted, for all she cared. She didn't need this drama. Right?
She tried to summon up some righteous indignation. That's what she should be feeling right now. Lisa had made her take two weeks off of work - two weeks! Did Lisa know how hard it was for Jennie to carve out that much time from her schedule? And for what? So she could go dick around with other women in front of her face? She should be angry. She should be furious. She lifted one hand and wiped furiously at the tears that were starting to fill her eyes.
It had all been an illusion - that week they'd spent together in New York. All the things Lisa had said to her. She'd known it wasn't real. She'd known. She shouldn't be surprised. Oh, but it had felt so good just to hope. To hope there might be something more in her life than all the endless hours of work, with no one there to greet her when she made her way home at the end of each day. Just an empty apartment. An empty job. An empty bed. An empty life.
Maybe she shouldn't be alone. She should take Jisoo up on the offer to go stay at her house for a while. Definitely not empty there. That house was always filled to the brim, with Jisoo and her husband and their three boys and all their friends and their dog.
No, she couldn't go there. Jennie loved her friend, but spending time at Jisoo's house only emphasised everything that was missing - everything she might have had, once, if things had turned out... differently.
"Oh Lisa." she whispered, feeling the tears start to overflow her eyes and run down her cheeks.
She plucked a tissue from the box beside the bed and blew her nose. Enough, she commanded herself. No point moping. She would feel better once she was back home in familiar territory. She would go back and throw herself into work - just as she'd always done. Work was the key. Keeping busy enough that there's no time left to think.
Right now, the first thing she needed to do was call the airline and get herself booked on a flight back home. She picked up her phone and tried to flick it on with her thumb, but the screen remained black. Out of power.
Jennie felt her breath catch in her chest, as a tiny ray of doubt penetrated through the thick black cloud of hopelessness. How long had it been off? Had her call last night to Jisoo drained it? Maybe it had been off all night. Maybe Lisa had called. She must have, right? A week ago, she'd been down on one knee, declaring her undying love. Of course, Jennie knew that was just Lisa getting carried away, but still... could she really have uttered those words if she had another girl she was sleeping with back home?
Maybe. Maybe not. In any case, Jennie wasn't getting on a plane to anywhere until she got her phone charged up. She knew exactly where her charger was waiting, of course. In the side pocket of her suitcase, right where she had left it - at Lisa's.
She sighed. She needed to pull herself together. She would have to go back there at least long enough to pick up her stuff. It had to be done. Go back there and hold her head up high and act as if nothing Lisa did mattered to her in the least.
Because it didn't matter. It shouldn't matter. Lisa had her life and Jennie had hers. Didn't matter if she got back there and found a naked swimsuit model in Lisa's bed. Didn't matter.
She stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror as she ran cold water over her face and blotted at her puffy eyes.
Of course it mattered. It mattered more than anything had mattered to her in a very long time. But Jennie would rather die before she ever let Lisa see it.
