Lisa rested her back against the closed hotel room door and slowly slid down to the floor, burying her face in her hands.
Jennie. Gone. The anger of the argument was dissolving now, replaced by waves of overwhelming regret. How had she fucked it up so fast? Not even 24 hours. How was it possible, when she'd always believed - she'd always sworn to herself - if she ever saw Jennie's face again, she'd never let her go. Not after 24 hours. Not after 24 years. Not ever. Lisa had sworn to herself, if she ever got another chance, she'd do whatever it took to hold onto Jennie.
Well, no, that wasn't exactly true. For a long time, Lisa had told herself that the girl she remembered - the one she couldn't stop fantasising about - wasn't even real. Just a ghost. A phantom. The one that got away, idealised in just her memory.
But none of that was true. Lisa had known it from the moment Jennie walked back into her life a few weeks ago. She had known Jennie was the one. She'd always been the one. Lisa was never going to feel for someone else the way she felt for Jennie. She had known. She had been so sure.
Lisa gave her head a little shake, wiping at her eyes with the heels of her hands. Was she wrong about all of it? When things were good with Jennie, they were so good. So much better than with anyone else. But if they couldn't even make it through one day without the whole thing blowing up, then maybe it was all just a fantasy.
Maybe Jennie wasn't the one. Maybe there was no such thing. Maybe Lisa was just meant to spend her life alone.
She should really go back into her room, she knew. Just a matter of time before someone came by and saw her. Famous rock star, crying on the floor in a hotel corridor - not exactly the visual she wanted printed in the tabloids. She should get up. Call someone to come stay with her. Lisa took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying and failing to summon up the energy to move.
She heard the elevator ding and the doors glide open. Too late. Lisa ducked her head and covered her face with her forearms, praying she wouldn't be recognised.
She heard footsteps come toward her and stop in front of where she was sitting. Not a fan, she prayed. Lisa didn't have it in her right now to smile and joke and sign an autograph. Please, she breathed. Please, just don't let it be a fan.
Whoever it was, they weren't budging. Must have recognised her. Lisa was going to have to suck it up. Brazen it out. She wiped her face against her sleeve and looked up.
"Lisa?"
"Yeah." Lisa stumbled to her feet.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah." Lisa braced one arm against the wall to keep her balance. The sudden movement had sent her head reeling again, and she blinked hard as she watched her vision darken treacherously.
"Thirty-seven missed calls?" she heard Jennie's voice say. "Really, Lisa? Thirty-seven?"
Lisa's vision cleared enough to look at her, and she saw Jennie standing in front of her with her cell phone pressed to her ear.
"You came back," Lisa whispered.
Jennie nodded, flicking her phone off as she sniffled and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. "I came back..." Jennie said, slipping the phone back into her bag. "I just checked my messages."
