Lisa gripped the steering wheel with both hands. She kept her eyes fixed firmly on the road. Probably best if she didn't try to sneak another glance at Jennie, riding in the passenger seat beside her. Only ten more minutes and they'd be at the airport. Ten more minutes with Jennie by her side. Ten more minutes to try to hold it together.
She hadn't gotten much sleep last night. Neither of them had. They'd been up late, curled up together on the couch, watching the movie. Say Anything. Whose bright idea was it to watch Say Anything?
Lisa had forgotten what it was about at first, but she remembered once the movie started. It was that one with John Cusack as an 18 year old kid - just some loser guy with no prospects and no future. Not much going for him at all except for his beautiful, brainy girlfriend. That girl he falls head over heels for, and then she inexplicably dumps him. Leaves him crying at a payphone at the Gas 'N Sip.
Under the circumstances, probably not the best movie to watch.
Lisa hadn't made much of a plan for last night. Jennie was expecting something big, but all her energy had been focused on setting up the open house. That was the big plan. The date afterward was just an afterthought. A celebration. Instead it had turned into a goodbye.
Jennie hadn't seemed to mind though. She'd been in a good mood yesterday. She'd hummed in the car all the way home after they finished looking at the house. That was nothing compared to the look on her face later that evening when she met Lisa in the lobby in her new dress. Worth every penny, that dress. Every head in the place had turned to look at Jennie the moment she stepped out of the elevator. Lisa would've bought her a hundred dresses just to witness that moment - that look that lit up her eyes, the moment she understood at last how beautiful she truly was.
The thought had crossed Lisa's mind then that maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe she should give it one last shot. Propose again. What did she have to lose at that point? Nothing much, really. Nothing she hadn't lost already.
The whole time they watched the movie, Lisa had gone over it and over it in her mind, weighing the pros and cons. In the end, she hadn't gone through with it. It wouldn't have worked anyway. She knew that. It would only spoil Jennie's mood again. Better just to enjoy the night for what it was. One last night, cuddled up on the couch with the only woman she'd ever loved. The only woman she seemed to be capable of loving. Better to leave it at that - a nice date, a sweet memory. Better not to sour it with another botched proposal, since that memory was probably all she was going to have to live off of for the rest of her life.
Lisa had been lost in thought, her arms wrapped tight around Jennie, her face buried in Jennie's hair, when she'd felt Jennie shift and pull away.
"Lisa?"
She opened her eyes and saw Jennie craning her neck around to look at her.
"What is it?"
"It's over."
It had taken a moment for the meaning of the words to penetrate. Lisa had opened her mouth to protest, until she looked past Jennie to the television screen and saw the credits rolling. Over. The End. How was it already the end?
"Did you fall asleep?" Jennie asked.
"That's ok. I saw the important part."
Jennie raised her eyebrows at Lisa.
"You know..." Lisa said with a shrug. "The boombox part?"
She had forgotten what movie that scene was from - that famous scene after the girl breaks John Cusack's heart, and he goes and stands outside her window all night, holding up a boombox.
"Not gonna work, kid." Lisa had wanted to say to the screen as she watched it. "Been there, done that." Lisa had done it and then some, hadn't she? Every boombox, every radio station, every song she'd ever written about Jennie - and none of it had made any difference. None of it ever got Jennie to come to the window. She'd just rolled over and turned away, ignoring Lisa, while she stood there like a jackass, pouring her heart out.
They hadn't talked much after that. Jennie must have said something about going to bed. Lisa had followed her silently into the next room and helped her unzip the back of her dress. She'd shimmied out of it and left it in a heap on the bedroom floor.
One last night. One last time.
Lisa hadn't said a word. Only let her eyes run over Jennie, forcing herself to pay attention. Concentrate. Remember every dip and curve. Lisa had eased Jennie back onto the bed and silently ran her fingertips over every last inch of Jennie, over and over, like a blind person reading braille. And when her fingers had Jennie memorised, she followed their path with her forehead. And then her lips. And then her tongue. Until Jennie couldn't take another moment, and she'd opened her mouth and cried out in a wordless plea. And then Lisa had pulled away and laid herself down on the bed beside Jennie, and made her do the same to her.
Afterward - after neither one of them could withstand the torment any longer and they'd given in to one another at last - they'd lain still together in the bed. Jennie had rolled onto her side, and Lisa spooned her with her arms around Jennie's waist and her face pressed into Jennie's hair.
Once again. One last time.
They stayed that way all night, both with their eyes closed but not asleep. Both fully aware that the other was awake, and yet not speaking. Not wanting to break the spell that had been cast. As if speaking might somehow make the morning light come faster.
Lisa dragged her mind away from the memory now as the signs for the airport whizzed past. Later. There'd be time enough to think about it later. She saw the airport departures terminal up ahead. She pulled into the drop-off zone and threw the car into park. Only a matter of moments now, and yet Lisa still didn't trust herself to look at her. Jennie had turned in her seat, and Lisa could feel Jennie's eyes on her, waiting for her to do something. Say something.
She kept her eyes straight ahead on the steering wheel and reached into her pocket, fishing around until her fingers landed on the object they were seeking. She pulled it out and set it on top of the dashboard, halfway in between them.
"Lisa..."
"Maybe you should take that with you." Lisa said quietly, her eyes fixed now on the diamond ring that sat sparkling in the California sunshine.
Jennie touched Lisa's hand, and at last she forced herself to turn her head and meet Jennie's eyes. Lisa waited for Jennie's final answer, knowing full well what it would be.
"It doesn't belong to me."
"Well, then I guess it doesn't belong to anyone." Lisa said. "Because it's never going to belong to anyone but you."
"Lisa, don't..."
Lisa gave Jennie's arm a tug and dragged Jennie toward her, pulling her into a tight embrace. "Lisa, I love you." Jennie whispered, her face buried in the crook of Lisa's neck. "I'll call you when I land..."
"Jennie." Lisa interrupted her again. "Jennie, is there anything... anything I could say right now to make you stay?"
