Lisa crawled into her bed and pulled the covers up over her head, shutting out all outside light except for the glow of her iPhone screen.
Breathe, she commanded herself. It was probably nothing. She was freaking out over nothing.
Her phone went dark and she immediately flicked it on again, staring at the screen. 5:22 PM. She toggled to her text messages. There was her name. Jennie. Last message sent earlier this afternoon.
Lisa: "How were drinks with Jisoo?"
They'd been texting back and forth all week - just quick messages to check in. Lisa was making an effort not to send too many. She knew Jennie had to work. In the evenings, after Jennie had finished up for the day at the office, she would call and they would talk. Lisa had been arranging her whole schedule around those calls. She had to make sure she was somewhere she could be alone, where she could close her eyes and picture Jennie's face as she listened to the sound of her voice. Lisa had been counting down the hours until those phone calls every night.
Except last night, the call hadn't come. Lisa had gotten a text from Jennie instead.
Jennie: "Can't talk tonight. Drinks with Jisoo."
And that was the last Lisa had heard from Jennie. Her text this afternoon had gone unanswered. She did the math again in her head - how many hours had it been since she sent it? Four hours now? It wasn't that long, right? It was just that Jennie usually texted back right away. But she was probably busy. Maybe she was in court or something.
Lisa felt sick to her stomach. She knew it wasn't work. It was Thursday and Jennie was scheduled to fly out on Saturday. She was just wrapping up loose ends at this point. Nothing particularly important. Nothing that would keep her from returning a text.
Was it possible Jennie hadn't seen it? Lisa was grasping at straws. In her gut, she knew exactly what had happened. Jennie had drinks with Jisoo. Jisoo said what Jisoo always said - that Lisa was bad news. That Jennie was better off without her. And now Jennie was backing out. She wasn't coming on Saturday. She wasn't staying for two weeks. She wasn't returning texts. If Lisa tried to call her, she wouldn't pick up the phone. Lisa hugged her knees to her chest and clenched her jaw, trying to ignore the waves of nausea washing through her.
Breathe, she told herself again. She couldn't send another text. That would come off needy as hell. She had to think up some pretence to call Jennie. It could be anything. Whatever. Tell Jennie that she needed to know what brand of shampoo she used so she could have a bottle ready for her here at the house.
Lisa thumbed through her contact list and brought up Jennie's name, pausing for a moment to look at the photo of her, smiling back at Lisa.
"Please pick up." she whispered to the picture. "Please Jennie." she held her breath and placed the call.
"Hi, You've reached Jennie Kim. I'm not able to take your call right now..."
Lisa pushed the phone away and buried her face in a pillow. Straight to voicemail. She knew it. Jennie had her phone off. Except she never had her phone off. She used that phone for work. Lisa knew what it meant. She must have blocked Lisa's number. She was backing out. She wasn't coming. It was over.
"No..." Lisa said into her pillow. "No no no no no n..."
The sound of her phone ringing cut her off. She sat bolt upright in the bed and let out a cry of relief. "See." she said to herself, taking a deep breath to settle her nerves. "Everything's fine. Everything's totally fine." Lisa reached for her phone and looked down at the caller ID.
Bambam.
"Fuck," Lisa said out loud as she picked up the call. She heard the voice of her lead guitarist on the other end.
"Uhhh, did I catch you at a bad time?"
"What?" Lisa picked up her pillow and chucked it across the room. "No. Sorry man. What's up?"
"Just confirming band rehearsals for next week. You're ok with the times we booked?"
"Yeah. Whatever." Lisa said. The pillow she'd thrown had knocked over a bottle of hair gel. She watched as the liquid seeped out onto the top of her dresser and dripped onto the floor. "It doesn't matter," she said into the phone.
"Everything ok?" Bambam asked. "You sound funny."
Lisa squeezed her eyes shut. Not ok. Definitely not ok. She needed a distraction. Anything to take her mind off of obsessively checking her phone. "What are you doing tonight?" Lisa asked.
"Nothing much. Kendall and I were gonna hit that new sushi place in Los Feliz. You want to come?"
The idea of sushi sounded no more unappetising than anything else at the moment. "Sure." Lisa said. "I mean, is that ok? It's not like a date or anything, is it?"
"No no. I mean, yes, but... that's cool if you want to third wheel. Kendall loves it when the paparazzi take her picture."
Lisa chuckled. Dating a 26-year-old aspiring supermodel came with its perks. "You're sure?" she asked.
"Totally! Meet you at seven."
