"I know, ok? I'm aware." Lisa took a long gulp of her drink, closing her eyes at the burning sensation as it slid down the back of her throat. She really didn't want to think any more about Jennie right now. She had just had what was probably the most stressful morning of her entire life. Now she wanted nothing more than to escape into an alcohol-induced stupor and worry about someone else's relationship problems for a change.
Bambam set his own cup down on the coffee table, untouched. "So tell her not to go!"
"Did you miss the part of the conversation where I said I didn't want to talk about it?" Lisa replied. She kept her eyes closed as she leaned back against the couch.
"Is she coming out with us on tour, at least?" Hoony asked.
Lisa didn't respond. Maybe they would let the subject drop in a moment if she just ignored them.
"That could be good, actually," Bambam replied. "You guys could get your own private bus, just for the two of you..."
"She's not coming on tour," Lisa snapped. "Ok? She's got a job. A real job. The kind that involves more than looking pretty and smiling at a camera. She can't just drop everything and come out on tour with us."
"Bullshit."
"Seriously, Lisa," Hoony said. "It's a mistake - trying to do the long distance thing. You can't even talk on the phone when you're touring. You know the way your voice gets so shot."
"I know it's a mistake," Lisa growled. "I don't exactly have a say in the matter."
They both stared at her in shocked silence.
"Did you ask her to come?" Bambam asked after a moment.
"Why are we still talking about this?"
Hoony picked up the whiskey bottle and walked it over to refill Lisa's cup. "Can't you just sprinkle her with some of your magic juice or something?"
"Is it a juice?" Bambam asked from the other side of the table. "I always thought it was more like a powder."
"What, like that nasty protein powder stuff?" Hoony said over his shoulder.
"No, like a colourless, tasteless powder you mix into a girl's drink when she gets up to use the bathroom."
"Pretty sure you're thinking of the date rape drug."
"Whatever works, man."
"Ok guys," Lisa interjected. "Thanks for the pep talk. Really."
"I know!" Hoony continued, ignoring the interruption. "Maybe we can do like Steve Martin in that 80s movie. You know, the one where he's hideous and he gets his handsome friend to talk to the girl for him?"
"Roxanne?" Lisa said, pinching the bridge of her nose. She was starting to get a headache.
"Oh yeah!" Bambam replied. He saluted Hoony with his paper cup. "Darryl Hannah. Damn, Lisa. How did you never get with Darryl Hannah?"
"She tried," Hoony said before Lisa could reply. "Remember? That time in Vegas?"
"Oh that's right! That was brutal!"
Lisa set down her cup and stared up at the ceiling. "You guys are such good friends. Have I mentioned that recently?"
"No no, we've totally got your back," Hoony said. "If you lose your voice, you can just write whatever you want to say to Jennie on cue cards and we'll do the talking for you."
"Yeah, but I think you have it backwards," Bambam told Hoony.
"Have what backwards?"
"In Roxanne," Bambam said. "The ugly friend has the good-looking friend do the talking for him. Not the other way around."
"Wait," Hoony replied slowly. "So Lisa's the good-looking one? Then which of us is the ugly one?"
Lisa pulled her eyes back down from the ceiling and saw Bambam smirking at her from across the room. At least this conversation seemed to be taking his friend's mind off her troubles.
"What?" Hoony said. "Me?"
"Well, you are the bassist, Hoony." Bambam grinned at him.
"Oh ok," Hoony retorted. "At least I still have a girlfriend."
Bambam laughed. "Does it count if she only sleeps with you when she's stoned?"
"Fuck you, man!"
Lisa covered her face with her hands. "I find you both extremely attractive. Ok? Can we drop it now?"
"No, but seriously, Lis," Bambam said, turning his attention back toward Lisa again. "You have to make this thing work with Jennie. Like, my entire belief system will be crushed if you can't close the deal on this one."
"I'm working on it."
"Do you have a plan?"
"Of course I have a plan," Lisa said, picking up her cup and draining it in one long gulp. "I always have a plan. I just don't know if the plan will work."
