Lisa looked up from the taco she was munching and glanced across the room at Jennie. Jennie had barely touched her food. Her styrofoam container sat on the table where she'd left it, and she stood at the living room window instead. Lisa watched as Jennie gazed down at the street below, ignoring the living room full of friends who had come back to the hotel suite to hang out this evening.
Lisa was just about to stand up and go over to Jennie when she turned and started making her way towards the bedroom door. She caught up with her as she was disappearing around the corner.
"What's up?" Lisa asked. "Are you ok?"
"I'm fine. I just have a headache."
Jennie looked tired. Lisa didn't miss the yawn she was trying to suppress or the shadows forming under her eyes. It had been a long, stressful day for her with the shopping fiasco this morning.
"Do you want me to get rid everyone?" Lisa asked.
She shook her head. "No, you have fun," Jennie said. "I'm just going to close my eyes for 15 minutes. I'll be right back."
Lisa kissed her lightly on the forehead and turned back toward her friends as Jennie pulled the bedroom door shut behind her. It was fine, Lisa reassured herself. Jennie was just tired. Nothing wrong. It was fine.
Lisa had been on such a high earlier, after she put her number in Jennie's phone. She'd looked happy then. Genuinely happy. Lisa had been bouncing off the walls with energy ever since.
But clearly Jennie's frame of mind didn't match Lisa's own right now. Had something happened back at the studio to sour her mood? Was it a mistake, inviting everyone back here tonight? Lisa had thought Jennie would enjoy the chance to mingle without the pressure of going out in public. A chance for her to reconnect with old friends. She'd been tight with all her bandmates back in the old days. Now it was just Bambam and Hoony left from that original crew - but still, Lisa thought Jennie would get a kick out of catching up with them.
She'd barely said two words to anyone the whole time they were here though, and Lisa couldn't help but feel a little annoyed. Did she really have no interest in socialising? She was only here for one more week. These were the people they'd be hanging out with if she decided to move to LA. That is if Jennie stayed.
The optimism was trickling away now. Lisa felt her good mood start to turn like the tide, as the crest of exhilaration she'd been riding all afternoon gave way to the familiar misgivings.
This was how it had been going the whole time Jennie had been here. Up and down, up and down. The highs felt impossibly high when Jennie looked at Lisa with a smile in her eyes. But just like that, Lisa would be plunged back down into despair the moment Jennie's mood turned. Lisa felt like one of the surfers down by the Santa Monica pier, trying to ride the waves. Except she'd never been much of a surfer, had she? It looked cool in the movies, but it always seemed to end in real life with her clinging to the board... thrashing about helplessly as her fingertips lost their grip... then swept away in the moment of sheer, blind panic as the blue crush of water came crashing over her head, pulling her under.
No, Lisa hated surfing. She didn't know how much more of the up-and-down she could take. The doubts were all rushing back in at her now. Was Jennie having a bad time? She'd said something this afternoon that had given her hope. Some off-hand remark she hadn't even thought about, but it had made Lisa's breath catch in her chest when Jennie said it. What was it again? Oh right, when she was telling Lisa about the dress she bought - just before her phone rang and Jennie got mad again - she'd said, "It'll be good if I ever have to do a red carpet."
She was thinking about the possibility of a future that included red carpets. A future that included Lisa. At least she knew the thought had crossed Jennie's mind. She was considering. Maybe it was working - this plan of hers to woo Jennie. She still had one more week.
Lisa had been down on one knee earlier today, and Jennie had laughed it off as a joke. Lisa hadn't meant it seriously. But maybe by the end of the week, Jennie would be ready for the real thing. Maybe. Or maybe she was crazy, thinking she could bring Jennie around so quickly. Maybe she shouldn't try to rush it. But what choice did she have? At the end of the week, Jennie was supposed to go back to New York, and Lisa couldn't go with her. She had a tour to prepare. It would just be phone calls and texts after that. Things always seemed to go downhill fast whenever they spent any amount of time apart.
That wasn't even the worst of it though. In just a few short weeks, Lisa would be heading out on tour. She couldn't stay up to all hours of the night, talking to Jennie on the phone. Not when she was touring. She had to rest her voice between shows. Touring for her meant two months straight of not speaking out loud at all except when it was truly essential to communicate.
Lisa would lose her then - two months away with no real contact. She would lose all the progress she'd made. Jennie would retreat back into that shell of hers, and Lisa would be right back to square one.
That was the whole reason Lisa had her out here. This was her shot, this visit of Jennie's to LA. It was rushed. It was insane. But she knew deep down, if she couldn't bring Jennie around by the end of this trip, she probably never would. Lisa had one week left now to make it happen.
"Hey Lisa! Are you listening?"
Hoony was calling to her from across the room, and Lisa looked up blankly. She hadn't been following the conversation. She had been lost in thought, drifting past the living room full of friends toward the coat closet at the front of the suite.
The closet door was open and she snuck a glance inside. Just checking. Her one and only winter coat was hanging there, untouched as usual. She reached inside and slipped her hand into the left coat pocket, feeling her fingers close over the object they were seeking. Still there, where she had hidden it. A velvet box, small enough to fit in the palm of her hand.
It was there. Ready and waiting. Sometime before the end of the week - some night when she saw Jennie's eyes shining back at her the way they had this afternoon – Lisa would be down on one knee again with this box in her hand.
When the time was right. When the mood was set. When she saw the word 'yes' sitting on the tip of Jennie's tongue.
Lisa just had to pick the right moment.
